LETTERS – Spreading rumours ruins a life

Sir

Drama. It happens so frequently during the teenage years, that some people have come to accept it as a normal part of teenage life. But when that drama involves slut-shaming and spreading rumours, that is anything but normal.

In fact, for those who are impacted, gossip can be downright painful and almost impossible to ignore – especially if social media is being used to spread it.

Consequently, people who are being gossiped about are negatively impacted. For instance, in my case I went to a certain event from work last year and when I came back I heard rumours being spread about me. At first I laughed it off because I knew they were not true and I thought it was a stupid joke from a foolish person who has insecurities about who they are and just wanted to destroy my character as a woman.

But when these rumours didn’t stop, my self-confidence and self-esteem were affected which also led to depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, anxiety and a host of other issues. What’s more is that this experience has taught me that gossip and rumours can alienate friends, ruin reputations, destroy relationships and even lead to ostracising behaviour and other forms of relational aggression.

Even though people know that rumours are just pieces of information or a story that has not been verified, what this means is that the person telling the story does not know for certain if it is true or not. Most of the time, people who spread rumours do not bother to determine if there is any truth in what they are saying and they do not determine the negative impact it has on the person being gossiped about.

I just want to share with others that spreading rumours about another is not nice at all because it is a deliberate and sustained process that destroys the credibility and reputation of a person. People who do this to others employ a mix of open and covert methods to achieve their goals, such as raising false accusations, planting and fostering rumours, and manipulating information. It is often an attempt to tarnish a person’s reputation.

It may involve exaggeration, misleading half-truths, or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. For individuals like me who have been targeted by these attempts, this has resulted in being rejected by my loved ones, family, and members of my work environment. Such acts are often difficult to reverse or rectify, and the process is likened to a literal assassination of a person’s life. The damage sustained can last a lifetime.
If you are a parent of a teen or maybe a teen yourself, you probably know at least a little bit about the stress that goes along with rumours. Rumours are just another form of bullying and I strongly believe that people need to be supportive of people like me who have fallen victim to agents of character assassination.

The 16 Days of Activism against women and children campaign means as women we need to support, build and encourage each other, not destroy one another.

Rumours are nothing more than what jealous people wished were true of you. They are as dumb as the people who started them and as fake as the people who help spread them.
Standing together for the truth