Madam – We all too often take for granted the value of true friends.
In this day and age, it is hard to make a friend who only wants the best for you. Most of these types of relationships start in school or in college, and it is very difficult to make new friends once you are already an adult.
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Many times, it is hard to put ourselves out there after we have been hurt so many times, and we tend to guard our feelings and emotions and not let anyone in. This is what happened to me, and it can be a very lonely life.
My so-called best friend admitted to me years after our friendship first started and we were having an argument, that she was only using me. At a time when I needed her support the most, she turned her back on me and that betrayal hurt more than anything else.
It honestly feels like a part of you dies when you lose someone who you had relied on for so long and this in turn makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. My self-confidence took a huge step backwards and till this day, many years later, I look back on that dark time with grief in my heart.
Because of that negative experience, I find it very hard to open up to people and therefore keep my feelings to myself. I was very lonely for a very long time, and this can be dangerous for people who are going through the same thing.
I am sure many readers out there know the pain of losing a good friend, and how much time it may take to get over that trauma. In all honesty, the best thing my ex-best friend could have done was tell me she was only using me, because once that toxic part of my life was gone, I was forced to confront my own demons and learn how to be kind to myself.
I want to encourage everyone out there to be kind to each other and cherish both the good and bad times. No single moment can ever define who you will become in life, so make every day count and count every blessing. If friends leave, they will do so for a reason. You may not appreciate the reason when it happens, but a time will come when you will understand and appreciate the so-called friendship for what it was worth.
Spend your time investing in people who add value to your life, and do not bring you down with their negativity. Life is too short to waste it on wannabes!
Safi Deen
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