Madam – The South African ostrich, bird, has always struck me as a bit of an oddity.
To me its final design makes it look as if it was fabricated from the leftover parts in the store, which were left after the swans and flamingos had been assembled.
The ostrich is therefore in the same category as the platypus, which is found in Australia. It has a bill like a duck. Tail like a beaver. Feet like an otter. Is a mammal which lays eggs and has a body covered in fur.
Of course, the only common factor with both platypus and ostrich is they lay eggs. The ostrich has an small orb shaped head with billiard ball size eyes which is approximately 2,8 metres above the ground.
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Once I have upset Mr Ostrich, beating a fast retreat is the next item on my agenda. The bird can reach a speed in excess of 70 km/h and with strides of 3 to 5 metres, it will not be long before I am cornered. The ostrich attack arsenal is a particularly nasty sharp nail in the toe of each foot.
Remember they kick forwards so the nail can rip your chest to bits. What actually brought this subject of ostrich to mind, was watching Trump at a political gathering.
His supporters in front of the podium, with their cell phones at the ends of their extended arms, looked to me like a herd of ostriches bobbing their heads around.
Surrealistic view point indeed! Salvidor Dali would be proud.
Trevor Barnes
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