Thank you to all those who regularly submit their jokes for the ‘Wimpy Chuckle of the Week’. Unfortunately, we cannot give all of you prizes. However, we still want readers to enjoy your jokes. Here is a selection of this week’s funniest chuckles:
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.” – Submitted by Ajendra Goli.
A Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’ The waiter replied, ‘Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testiclesfrom the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’
The cowboy said, ‘What the heck, bring me an order..’ The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry, senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bullfight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.’
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and onlyspecial delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said,
‘These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.’ The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.” – Submitted by Anna Oosthuizen.
An investment advisor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.
“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?”
“Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me R15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”
“Impressive. And what sort of case was that?” asked the investment advisor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.” – Submitted by Kaveer Thulsie.
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”
“But, officer, I just wanted to say,…”
“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom…” – Submitted by Keshani Maharaj.
“I’m The Boss”
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss.” He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!” – Submitted by Rukshana Haripaul
