Thank you to all those who regularly submit their jokes for the ‘Wimpy Chuckle of the Week’. Unfortunately, we cannot give all of you prizes. However, we still want readers to enjoy your jokes. Here is a selection of this week’s funniest chuckles:
1. Under the Bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low bridge ahead.” Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
Submitted by Kaveer Thulsie
Malema won the Lotto and goes to the shop to collect his money.
Malema: “Sir, I won the Lotto and I’m here to collect my R10 million.”
Teller: “Ok Sir, but you can’t get all the money now. You gonna get R1 million every month.”
Malema: “No no no. I want it all!”
Teller: “That’s not how it works Sir.. You can’t get all your money today. You need to follow the procedure.”
Malema: “No, I want my R10 million NOW or else give back my R5 finish & klaar!!!”
Submitted by Hannelie von Lisenborgh
3. Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try this again: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “No, SIR!”
4. A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”
“What? Are you coming empty-handed?”
Submitted by Ajendra Goli
5. There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians.
Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers’ deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly.
All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.
“I have only one condition,” he said. “At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint.” The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check.
The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. “He was an evil man,” he said. “He cheated on his wife and abused his family.” After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with,
“But, compared to his brother, he was a saint.”
Submitted by Kaveer Thulsie
4 friends meet 30 years after school. One goes to the toilet while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says his son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a ferrari.
No. 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said his son became an engineer, started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.
No 4. came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about.
They told him they were talking about how successfull their sons became and ask him about his son.
He said his son is gay and is a Stripper at a Gay bar.
Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.
” Oh no !! ” said the father, he is doing good.
” Last week was his birthday and he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends…” .
Submitted by Kirana Maharaj
