Our town is worse than yours so there!

We all know that the truth is stranger than fiction.
What if we can safely say that the powers-that-be governing Endumeni, Newcastle, Vryheid, Ladysmith and Estcourt come together once a month for a secret bosberaad to compare notes on how k#k their respective towns now are in terms of looks – you know the old complaints of street lights not working, water and effluent leaks (all over Dundee), poor roads, poorer pavements, littering and so on and so on.
Now, the leaders of these five towns meet secretly, armed with a months’ worth of copies of the local newspapers, covering their respective municipal areas.
Opening these newspapers is déjà vu – or a kind of Groundhog Day, newspaper style.
The street names may change, the names of the grumblers may change but the complaints are the same. What if, at these secret bosberaads, at a venue even they cannot find, these powers compare notes. In fact, there is a monthly prize (probably a tender) for the town that manages to come up with the worst complaint.
It is always keenly contested, we are told. “Our sewage flow is wider than yours,” sings one delegate doing a celebratory jig while brandishing a copy of the newspaper exposing yet another complaint. “Yes, but we have more dead street lights,” retorts someone else.
And still, someone else is quicker to get up and proudly display what he says must be the most potholed road in Northern KZN. Phew! Okay, well done that’s a hard one to beat.

Fortunately, we have for the moment in any event, the media who are bit like those cameras that caught out the Aussies. And while those cameras are still rolling, possibly there is hope that there will be again hope.

How about broken promises? This is another competition that always goes down to the line. For some, it is the promise made possibly 20 years ago to install CCTV security to stem out of control crime in the CBD… Another one promised to sort out all the bad roads 15 years ago… and so on. Yes, these guys have lots to boast about.
Maybe the ability to waste money is another category. As our late Courier journalist Pierre du Toit was fond of saying ”it is amazing what you can do with other people’s money”.
These monthly inter-municipal competitions are a bit like the Olympics – you get the bronze medalists, the silvers and the gold medals – you know those towns which are just a cesspool of corruption and non-service delivery. Even the stray donkeys have left those towns which are the perennial gold medal winners.
You also get your all-rounders – those who can screw up a budget, employ all their buddies at the municipality and blow money they don’t have and then ask the voters to vote them back into power. Even Carl Lewis will battle to equal all the gold medals some of these guys have notched up the years. Then you get the ones who use sandpaper to tweak a tender or three – make things a little easier on the personal pocket. Fortunately, we have for the moment in any event, the media who are bit like those cameras that caught out the Aussies. And while those cameras are still rolling, possibly there is hope that there will be again hope.