Separation anxiety explained
RANDBURG – It is common for children to feel distress when starting school.
In light of school starting, two educational psychologists have explained what separation anxiety is, and offer ways to help deal with it. “Separation anxiety is basically an excessive and inappropriate display of distress and fear when faced with situations in which a child may be separated from their primary caregiver,” says Carra Blackie, who works in Sandton.
Catherine Marais, an educational psychologist at The King’s School Robin Hills, says that separation anxiety is common in young children on their first day of school, which is a new place with new people. Here children can be “clingy”, tearful and reluctant to leave his or her parents.
“Some children may also complain of physical symptoms, such as headaches or tummy aches,” she says. Blackie adds that the more worried a parent is, the more worried the child will feel.
Parents talking too much can make children more anxious.
“However, parents should talk and expose their child to the idea of going to school,” she adds.
If a child becomes emotional and will not let go, parents need to trust the teacher to help the child when they leave.
The longer parents stay with the child the harder it will be to leave.
Parents can also take a special toy or something to help the child settle.
Marais offers tips for parents to make the separation easier when starting a new school year:
- Prepare the child by taking them to the school beforehand.
- Develop a goodbye “ritual”, for example always saying the same thing, with a goodbye kiss or wave.
- Try to ensure that your child has connected with one other person before you leave (a teacher or pupil).
- When you say you are going to leave, leave promptly.
- For some children, a photo of mom or dad in their school bag can be reassuring.
- Ensure that the child knows the time, place and by whom they will be fetched (and that they have a phone number).
If negative symptoms persist and are interfering with a child’s day-to-day life, parents are advised to speak to a teacher or counsellor for help.
Details: The King’s School Robin Hills 011 792-1420, Cara Blackie 072 620 5466.
