After suffering a devastating miscarriage earlier this year, just before reaching 10 weeks of pregnancy, Charlette Hawla is determined to break the silence surrounding pregnancy loss and improve the support offered to mothers who have lost a baby.

Charlette shared that on 18 March, she received the heartbreaking news that she had lost her baby. Before learning she was pregnant, she had been under extreme stress and was later diagnosed with acute stress and anxiety disorder. Doctors warned that her pregnancy would be high-risk, adding to the pressure she already faced at work.

“I decided to focus on my pregnancy and gave up my job to make my life a bit calmer,” said Charlette.

Soon afterwards, while she was still working, she began experiencing pelvic pain. She wasn’t granted leave to go to the hospital and only managed to see a doctor the following day. She was diagnosed with a bladder infection that had spread to her kidneys, treated accordingly, and placed on bed rest.

At that stage, doctors confirmed that everything was still well with her pregnancy. But towards the end of February, the doctor struggled to find her baby’s heartbeat.

“They decided to wait two weeks to determine whether something was really wrong. On March 18, they confirmed there was no heartbeat, even though my body still felt her.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. On the way home, the news really hit me, and I just fell apart. I started crying, not caring about who could see me or what anyone would think,” Charlette recalled.

Charlette had to undergo a procedure to remove the foetus – an experience she described as deeply traumatic.

She explained that, unlike private hospitals, where mothers are given anaesthesia, government hospitals often do not offer this, leaving women to feel everything.

Once home, the reality of her loss sank in. Her three children had been eagerly awaiting the birth of their sister, and she had to find the strength to comfort them while managing her own pain.

“My husband was also deeply affected by this loss; it is very difficult. I was angry and I felt alone. For three months, I wasn’t able to leave my room. It has been 224 days since I lost my baby, and it still feels like yesterday,” Charlette emphasised.

Despite her grief, Charlette struggled to find local support. The groups she joined were mostly based overseas, which made her feel even more isolated. In response, she decided to start her own support group to help other mothers who had experienced pregnancy loss.

“Mothers go through depression following this loss. I questioned myself, wondering why I allowed outside influences to affect my life when I should have focused on myself. Eventually, I realised that what happened, happened; there is nothing I can do to bring my child back. I have to move on, and I was even able to forgive the people who hurt me,” she said.

Charlette believes there is still little awareness or open discussion about miscarriage.

“In my experience, there is little knowledge about the loss of a child. Many different factors could contribute to the loss of a child; however, there isn’t a lot of information and research available. It almost feels like a ‘taboo topic’,” she added.

Motivated to create change, Charlette has launched a project called The White Pumpkin, inspired by a poem by Jennifer Giles. The initiative provides baby bags filled with essentials – clothes, blankets and other items – to struggling mothers.

She said the project is in honour of her lost child and a tribute to all mothers who have endured similar pain.

Charlette hopes to expand the project to include events that commemorate both the babies and their mothers, reminding them that their grief is valid and that they are not alone.