A Pinch of Salt

Newspapers are weird and wonderful institutions. They can inform, delight, entertain and drive one mad, but when things go wrong, they really go wrong. Take the following newspaper headlines that appeared in actual international newspapers, for example. They were the result of headline writers who wanted to write headlines that were provocative, teasing and entertaining, but their best intentions came to naught when faced with the printer’s devil.

– Squad helps dog bite victim

– Iraqi head seeks arms

– Two Soviet ships collide, one dies

– Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

– Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft

– Panda mating fails, vet takes over

– Drunk gets nine months in violin case

– Miners refuse to work after death

– Woman falls in hospital, calls ambulance

– Rain would ease drought

– Tiger Woods goes limp. Pulls out after nine holes

– Queen Mary having bottom scraped

– Army vehicle missing after being painted with camouflage

– Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons

– Homicide victims rarely tell police

– Meeting on open meetings is closed

– Midget sues, cites belittling remarks

– Slowdown continues to accelerate

– Fire destroys crematorium

– Joyce Hooker named Lay Person of the Year

– Antique stripper to display wares at store

– Robbers hold sup Albert’s Hosiery

– Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

– Town to drop school bus when overpass is ready

– Man held over giant LA bush fire

– Asbestos suit pressed

– Judge to rule on nude beach