Many questions

Don’t you just hate the hackneyed and worn-out phrases used by journalists in our newspapers?

Sport writers are especially guilty of this.

One such phrase is: “He asked many questions”.

One newspaper this week stated that the Australian fast bowler Michel Johnson asked many questions from the Proteas batsmen. What does it mean?

Imagine. It is the first day of a test match. Graeme Smith and Petersen are opening for the Proteas. Smith batting first, takes his place in front of the wickets.

The crowd is abuzz with excitement.

Johnson walks back pensively thinking of the destruction he is about to unleash.

He turns and storms in until he is face to face with Smith.

With a snarl, he hurls his first question at Smith.

“How do you bowl a maiden over?”

A flustered Smith answer haltingly, “I don’t know, I guess you can give her a bunch of flowers.”

Johnson goes up in the air and appeals loudly. The ref’s finger goes up in the air and Smith is out!

Without hesitation Smith appeals the decision to the third ref.

There is a lull in proceedings as the ref reconsiders the decision.

Johnson continues to glare at Smith, hands on hips.

Not out, is the decision. It just proves that the appeal system is not infallible.

So Johnson must try again.

He storms forward and slings a fast question at Smith.

“Where is silly mid-on?”

“O, you mean JP Duminy. He is still in the pavilion, waiting to bat at number five.”

Now, there can’t be any uncertainty. This time he is out.

He slowly walks back to the pavilion, shaking his head. Watching in disbelieve the replay on the giant screen.

Amla walks in, looks at the field setting and settles in front of the wickets.

Johnson storms up to him:

“Heard you had gastro last night. How are you now?” he asks.

“Better. I enjoyed it though.”

“Why?”

“It was the first time in a while that I have been in the runs.”

Rugby scribes also like to use that phrase.

The Bulls forwards asked many questions from the Chiefs’ pack with their mauls.

Imagine within the chaos and hustle of the tangled bodies inside the maul with all the expletives, groaning, sweating and shouting going on, there is also a question and answer period.

Real food for thought.

Because this is a family newspaper I will not dwell on the type of questions and answers that may come out of this type of situation.