NUT helps to bring runaway girls back home safely

POLOKWANE – One of the many nightmares parents experience through their children is when they find that their child has run away from home.

In panic mode, parents call everyone they can think of who might know where their child is. Eventually, when there is no one else to find out from, they contact the police.

The Northern Upper Town (NUT) community police forum (CPF) (Sector 5) recently assisted a Polokwane family by providing a vehicle and fuel to fetch two runaway girls, aged 14 and 15, in Mbombela.

A psychologist who wished to remain anonymous also offered to assist these two troubled girls and their families at no cost.

Speaking on behalf of NUT CPF, Karen Botha, who is also Savannah Mall marketing manager, said this was yet another feel-good matter by their CPF in assisting the community. “We want to thank the members of the CPF, as well as the other people who were involved in this good deed to bring the two children home safely,” Botha said.

Review spoke to a mother and daughter, who wished to remain anonymous, and who had been through this experience to find out if they had any further advice on teenage runaways.

The daughter (45) is an adult and a mother now, but ran away from home at least twice when she was between 15 and 17 years old. She said she could never figure out why she actually ran away from home as she had a normal upbringing without any real issues occurring. “I suppose I was rebelling against authority,” she said.

“One day my father and I had a fight – I forget what about – and in the heat of the moment he said as long as I lived in his house, I would live by his rules. So I left. I got a lift from a friend to the highway and started hitch-hiking. I ended up in Cape Town the first time I ran away and worked for a guy who was a debt collector. He also became my boyfriend. Somehow the police caught up with me and I spent some months at a place of safety before returning home.

“The next time I ran away, I went to East London, where I worked for an escort agency and eventually started using drugs. One day I realised that I had lost so much weight and that if I wanted to continue living, I had better get out of there. So I left and hitch-hiked home!”

She said she eventually completed her schooling and managed to make peace with her parents. “My advice to would-be runaways is: don’t do it! There must be someone, if not your parents, who you can talk to for advice. It’s very dangerous out there and you could easily end up dead,” she concluded.

This runaway’s mother, who is now in her 60s, said her first reaction when she realised her 15-year-old daughter had run away was a feeling of fear for what might happen to her, such as being raped or killed. “I remember waking up every morning with a knot in my stomach, which just didn’t go away,” she told Review.

She said her daughter had been rebellious for some time, ignoring curfews and having undesirable friends who were much older. “But I was never quite sure why she ran away. It may have been to avoid us tightening discipline or just because she wanted to do her own thing,” she said.

“It definitely had an effect on the whole family, especially my two younger daughters. They were afraid of what would happen to their sister, and the youngest daughter sometimes felt that she did not get enough parental attention as we were doing everything we could to find our missing daughter and she was never out of our minds,” the mother explained.

She said her advice to parents was to build a good relationship with their children from a very young age so that when problems arose, they would feel they could discuss them with their parents.

“As a parent, I always felt that it was something that I had done wrong or was a bad parent and that caused her to run away. However, in later years she told me that this was not the case.

“Also, keep close to the Lord and keep praying; miracles do happen,” she concluded.

The NUT CPF also provided the following advice when a child has run away from home:

• Make sure you always have an up-to-date photo of your child.

• Immediately contact your CPF and the police to assist.

• Phone any possible contact, friends, school, church and check their Facebook profile for any possible leads.

• Go to their favourite mall, shop, or entertainment venue to enquire about the last time they saw your child.

• Find out who they were with during their last visit to these places.

When you find your child:

• Never worsen the situation by accusing them in the heat of the moment. Rather sit calmly and discuss the reason behind their action.

• Get help from a social worker or teacher.

• Contact your local drug and alcohol centre if necessary for assistance.

• End any negative friendship which might have been the cause of their action.

• Pay more attention to quality family time.