Raising a child is not always easy

A large number of young girls fall pregnant in their teens and they are usually left to raise the children on their own.

Ms Sesi Khoza’s daughter is one of those girls. She fell pregnant at 16 years, when she was in Grade 10.

According to her, this was the most difficult time of her life because pregnancy was the last thing on her mind.

She did not have a complicated pregnancy but dealing with an unplanned pregnancy was not easy.

Her mother, Ms Khoza, struggled to make peace with the situation because she was expecting her daughter to focus on her studies.

“I felt helpless and hurt, it was like my whole world was falling apart,” she said.

The absence of the father of the baby (who was also still in school) only made matters worse.

Ms Khoza, who is the breadwinner in her family, knew that she had to fully provide for the baby.

She says she felt as though she was not going to be able to support another human being financially and that led to stress.

Her daughter’s stomach grew bigger but that did not stop her from going to school.

“Going to school while pregnant is hard because most of the time you get tired quickly,” she said.

According to her, she sometimes had to miss school to go to the clinic for antenatal care.

She passed her Grade 10 and Ms Khoza could not hold back the tears of joy when she heard the news.

“I did not think she was going to pass. I honestly thought she was going to fail,” Ms Khoza said.

She later gave birth to a healthy baby boy but the struggle was not over. Ms Khoza had to ensure that the baby had everything he needed whether she had the money or not.

“Nappies, clothes and baby formula were all expensive, but I had to buy them for the baby.”

Sometimes the baby would run out of formula or nappies and she had to borrow money from other people.

They recently registered him for a child support grant and hope that it will make a difference.

Ms Khoza’s daughter wanted to further her studies after completing Grade 12 but she feels she should rather look for a job in order to care for her child.

She said she cannot make decisions without thinking of her son and needs to do what is best for him.

She is currently completing Grade 12 and she says having a child in your teens robs you of your childhood.

“I guess my dreams will have to take a backseat because I need to provide for my boy,” she concluded.

According to the Peer Counsellor for Substance Abuse, Ms Anele Cele, being a young mother is not easy: “I know this because I am a young mother myself. I gave birth to my baby in my twenties.”

She also said she relies on her mother for assistance with her baby and that young mothers who are still in school must concentrate on their schoolwork so they can provide a better future for their children.

“They must not take advantage of the assistance they get from their parents but must work harder to change their situation for the better.” Ms Cele added.

A health care worker confirmed that about 80% of the women who access antenatal care from the primary health care facilities are teenagers.