Fidler in the Hood: Rumour has it … Norway has no razors!
In the meantime, friends, if anyone has a spare razor or two, they could come in handy.
GOD MORGEN! No, not a spelling mistake, friends; it’s ‘good morning’ in Norwegian. Last week your scribe and the CO headed due south and ended up at The Gallery Café in Trafalgar to celebrate the CO’s birthday with a delightful lunch – a special occasion for discerning royalty. When parking the car, it was obvious that trouble was in store … just one other vehicle was parked there with the provocative words ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone; Liverpool FC’ on the rear window.
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Big fella
Upon entering to enquire who the owner of the offending car was, a ‘very large fella’ stood up and replied it was his. Weighing him up (he certainly weighed a lot, too), the only appropriate response was: ‘It’s a very nice Liverpool FC sticker’ … and to back off. A short while afterwards, the big fella and his wife left and the first comment chortled to the CO was ‘That’ll teach him not to mess with a City supporter.”
Blade shortages
We were alone – just the two of us – until two more couples arrived. The café was beginning to fill up, especially with the arrival of seven young men, all speaking in a foreign lingo, all with beards and not a shaver or razor blade between them. Questioning proprietor Avril Ann de Ras as to who these young men were, she told us ‘They’re on holiday here from Norway.’ Cue a story for the Bonus.
‘Ole Gunnar’
Your scribe approached the Norwegians’ table and in the best Norwegian he could muster said ‘hallo’ (hello in English) ‘My name is Ole Gunnar Solskjaer; welkomen to South Africa.’ The young Vikings looked quizzically. ‘You’re not Ole Gunnar Solskjaer – he’s the acting manager of Manchester United; besides, you haven’t got a beard.
You don’t even look or sound Norwegian.’ They’re quick, these Oslo lads. Introductions all round, the ice was broken – and there’s a lot of ice in Norway.
And then followed their interesting story as to why and what are they doing here in South Africa.
Trip to Tromso
One of the group spoke out, ‘My parents used to live here and returned to Norway several years ago. They still have a house here in Trafalgar, so, along with my brother and invited friends, we come out for a holiday each year.’ Nice work if you can get it.
Next question: ‘Where are you from in Norway? Oslo?’ ‘Most of us live in or around the Oslo area, although Aslak lives in Tromso in the north of Norway, inside the Arctic circle.’ Impressive. ‘Tromso, are there any women living there?’ – ‘Plenty’, he replied ‘all young and beautiful, too.’
Enter the McNairs
Jonatan Hansen kindly wrote down the names of his Norwegian buddies. It was our turn to look at them quizzically. “Hakon and Brian McNair? Something not quite right there? Those are Irish or Scottish names, surely?” Mats McNair set the record straight: his father was of Scottish ancestry and married his Norwegian mother. You learn something new every day. None of these ‘fine young chaps’ are in the North Sea oil and gas industries, opting to make their way in the electronic media and civil engineering business. The exception being Jegsu Gerpikk, who is a wheat farmer, although ‘it’s a bad time in Norway to be growing anything at the moment’.
Our young guests are enjoying the balmy breezes of the Hibiscus Coast and have taken to a bit of swimming, surfing, braais and biltong. They return to Norway in a couple of weeks after they have discovered some more of KZN.
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In the meantime, friends, if anyone has a spare razor or two, they could come in handy. Vikings of the world unite! Nice meeting you all and we look forward to your return to the Hibiscus Coast.
Who is Sonja Henie?
While heading home after a great lunch, meeting younger, if unshaven, new faces. “Great time, pet, wasn’t it?” Your scribe said. “Did you hear young Aslak saying there are lots of pretty women in Tromso, inside the Arctic circle? Bet they’re not as attractive as Sonja Henie, the famous Norwegian ice-skater and movie star.” The CO gave one of those frozen icy looks. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, pack it in, will you? Sonja Henie died over 60 years ago.” Anyone remember Sonja Henie, out there?
See you, Rob.
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