Good moaning! I don’t blame you if you are becoming Moaning Minnies, my fellow constituents. Everyday life these days seems to consist of one step forward, two steps backwards. But hope springs eternal. Are you in the queue? We do have lots of time on our hands, t’is true. But what can be more exciting than standing in queues, being stand-offish, waiting for eternity to break loose.
I mean there’s nothing nicer than standing in a queue at your favourite bank, waiting to do whatever you do in that institution. Holding up the bank has a new connotation. I tried holding up my own bank, only to be laughed at, with a friendly greeting: ‘Good morning, Mr Fidler; how can we help you? Love your mask!’ It’s a nightmare; basically, I don’t ‘do queues’, especially when I’m number 30 in the queue.
ALSO READ: Rob in the ‘Hood: The pub with no beer…
However, all credit, and not in the banking sense, is due to the staff (any bank) who have put their lives on the line in the line of duty. The positive side is one meets the nicest of people, all patient to a fault. Rumour has it that two strangers met in a queue. By the time they were served, they had ‘fallen’ for each other and were now an item! Love will always find a way.It’s the philosopher in me.
Another positive arising from the local restrictions is that it brings out the philosopher in you.
The other day, I was thinking, a rarity in itself, when these words from a very old song crossed my mind, especially as we are locked up, locked down, locked in: The sun comes up and the sun goes down,The hands on the clock keep-a-goin’ ’round, I just get up and it’s time to lay down, Life gets tee’jus, don’t it? Hmm. My shoes are untied, but I don’t care, I ain’t figurin’ on going nowhere, I’d have to wash and comb my hair, And that’s just wasted effort. Grief and misery, pains and woes, Debt and taxes, yeh, so it goes, I think I’m getting a cold in my nose, Just one darn thing after another! (‘Life gets tee’jus, don’t it?’ (With a nod here and there to Carson Robison).
With all local sporting activities banned, South Coast golfers must be twiddling their thumbs, waiting for the day when they can visit the 19th hole, or even decide to play a round or two, maybe a hole in one. So, when the big day comes around, my golfing hacker friends, let me give you a few golfing tips to improve your rusty skills.
This was an actual sign in a golf club in Scotland, the home of golf. Here goes: 1. Back straight; knees bent; your feet a shoulder-width apart. 2. Form a loose grip .3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you. 8. Don’t stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet, please, while others are preparing. 10. Don’t take extra strokes.
Well done – now, flush the urinal, wash your hands, go outside and tee off! Anyone for tennis? Better still, come on, you Blues… one week to go until the lads in sky blue are on our screens! See you, Rob.
HAVE YOUR SAY
Like the South Coast Herald’s Facebook page, follow us on Twitter and Instagram
