I sometimes joke with friends that we want our children to be like us, and then when they are, it comes as a shock and we aren’t necessarily that happy about it!
It’s a classic case of only seeing the good and being oblivious to the not-so-good, negative or down-right annoying – in ourselves, that is.
So, we want our young son to stand up for himself, then when he gets involved in a fight at school, mmm, well, how does one handle that?
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Or, when the daughter stubbornly refuses to eat baby marrows and green beans – cue the theme song for legendary western, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
It becomes a Clint Eastwood-like showdown between mother and child.
Bath time and bed time come and go and the offending veggies are still on the plate, not helped by brother chirping ‘Mom, I’d like broccoli for lunch tomorrow’.
Yet, an Easter egg or two can disappear without a problem, no matter the time of day.
Another curious thing is the son’s ability to watch sport with laser-like focus yet cannot remember to tie a shoe-lace despite six reminders.
Of course, our children can be a startling reflection of who we are, and this is a challenge in how we go about raising them.
They don’t arrive with a manual and each one is different from the next.
We want what’s best for them, but don’t always know if what we think is best is in fact actually best.
Are we too strict, or not strict enough?
At what ages do you start having the important life talks? It’s a bit of a minefield at times.
Do we hide our own obvious shortcomings as much as possible, or is it okay for children to see their parents fail, get frustrated and occasionally lose their cool?
I’m no psychologist, but what I have found is that children forgive and forget quite quickly and adults should most probably do the same.
Having said that, we always try to follow up sharp discipline with lots of love and reassurance.
Raising children is certainly not for the faint-hearted, especially in these difficult times.
But can there be a greater blessing?
Every now and then they produce something special – like brushing their teeth without being reminded (how well is another story the dentist can probably best explain) but they’re small steps in the battle to master personal hygiene.
My conclusion is probably something I have heard my wife say somewhere along the line to one of her friends.
Each parent knows their own child best and has enough grace for their children.
How they raise them is up to the parent(s) of those children.
I’m not necessarily talking about the obvious things, like good manners and consideration for others, but rather how to set them on their path for life.
Deep down, somewhere, my belief is that each parent knows what works, even if and when it doesn’t feel like it.
So be encouraged parents, you are most likely doing a great job, even when you feel absolutely exhausted and the weekend is still two days away.
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