We live in a country where some crazy stuff can happen. The recent riots and looting gave us some examples of that, aside from our usual fun and games.
I suspect living in Australasia or Europe, or pretty much anywhere where Saffers emigrate to, is boring compared to this and there truly is never a dull moment in this beautiful, if troubled, land of ours.
But sometimes it borders on the ridiculous. Or hilarious. Here’s a story with an outcome providing me with the opportunity to not know whether to laugh or cry.
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On my way home the other day, traffic in the opposite lane had slowed and I wondered what was going on.
This was near the Ford dealership, going up the hill towards the toll plaza, to give you some idea.
At first I thought there had been an accident, then I saw a vehicle parked half in the road, half off, in the northbound lane, coming down the hill.
It looked like it had had a puncture but I also noticed some of its load had spilled into the road.
There were a few people cleaning up, presumably the driver and his co-pilot.
While I was watching this, the vehicle in front of me suddenly stopped, like in the road (no worries, really) and the passenger leapt out.
It’s probably worth noting the vehicle was a luxury German SUV.
Anyway, this bloke could be in the frame for Springbok selection in the backline, such was his turn of pace and agility.
He somehow got to the other side of the road and down the hill in less than no time, long legs a blur as he raced, not to help, but to scoop up some of the spilled goods on the road, I finally realised.
When I had finished marvelling at his speed, I suddenly realised what it was he was after – toilet paper. I kid you not. Toilet paper.
There were loose rolls dotted along the road and this fellow was after them, as many as he could grab.
“How desperate is he?” I wondered out loud, almost missing my turnoff to home, and I didn’t mean as in needing to ‘go’ at that exact moment, although come to think of it, it may have explained the extraordinary running style – ears pinned back, eyes wide open, teeth in a grimace of sorts and man, that acceleration!
I considered turning around and going back to see who else might be stealing bog rolls from the side of the road but remembered my wife had promised roast chicken for dinner.
In the end I just shook my head in bemusement. Is this what’s right with our country – the finding of opportunities everywhere; or what’s wrong?
Whatever the case, much later on, when walking past the loo, I remembered it might be a good idea to put the roll on the toilet paper holder and not on top of the cistern.
Especially if I didn’t want to scratch for my own supper.
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