Supporting families on their grief journey

COVID-19 has taken many lives.

With 134 daily deaths estimated by the department of health, the BAFDT Community Support Group has been faced with the monstrous task of offering grief counselling and supporting affected families and individuals under restrictive circumstances.

The founder of the organization, Audrey Anderson shared that it has become increasingly difficult to the much needed support to the community as they have had to stop their group prayers and meetings.

“We’ve had a lot of people calling us that have lost loved ones and are just not coping. It’s been very hard not being able to meet with and physically console people in need. Initially, we were not prepared because this pandemic was new to us. We had to stop our meetings at a time when many needed them most. We felt like we weren’t giving back to the community as much as we could but our hands were tied. We try to keep our platforms open, especially through social media so we can interact with people because it is difficult for us to meet in person and sympathise with others. In cases where we can go visit the families, there is also the risk of possibly being in contact with people who may have been exposed to the virus. Grief is such a heavy thing and Covid-19 has robbed us of friends and family, but also the ability to meet, connect, hold hands in prayer and hug one another. The emotional intimacy is cold,” she said.

Audrey explained that with most of the Covid-19 death cases, she noted that a lot of the families don’t have closure.

“A lot of them are in denial and haven’t accepted the death because of its abrupt nature. There is a lot of anger and denial. A lot of people have put on a façade that they’re okay and that their loved ones are coming back. Counselling people who are in that state of disbelief is challenging because I need to help them go through the different stages of grief and healing when they haven’t even accepted what has happened.”

BAFDT member and grief counsellor, Antoinette Jacobs who works closely with families in the Wentworth area said openness to grief counselling has been different with each case.

“It’s hard to put a number to the number of individuals and families we support. But there has been an increase in the need for grief counselling with the increase in the number of people losing their loved ones. There is increased anxiety and frustration and others have lost their jobs. Living in a pandemic, most people want to keep indoors and keep their interactions to a minimum. This makes it very difficult to reach out to someone who evidently needs help. It has been a learning journey. I thank God for this group and enabled me to be a source of support for someone else.”

“It has even been very emotional and anxious for us. But at the end of the day, we still need to do what we need to do. We haven’t stopped,” added Audrey.

BAFDT is a non-profit organisation in Wentworth which offers free group and one-on-one counselling and support, grief share, trauma de-briefing, domestic violence counselling, psychosocial counselling, emotional and psychological support. For more information call 081 431 7458.