As the world marks the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children, our focus is often on the physical and emotional scars of abuse. However, an unseen form of abuse often serves as the groundwork for deeper control: Financial abuse.Financial control and infidelity are not merely relationship issues. The insidious tactics strip a partner of their independence, dignity and ability to escape an abusive environment, leaving them powerless and trapped.
Recognising the signs of financial abuse is the first step to empowering yourself to escape this trap.

However, it’s important to distinguish between normal disagreements about budgeting and deliberate, manipulative secrecy or control. Financial abuse can start with financial infidelity (one partner in a relationship hides or lies about money, assets, or debts) and aims to create dependency and powerlessness.

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Signs that financial secrecy has crossed the line into financial abuse:

• The information lockdown: This includes your partner refusing to share account passwords, PINs, basic income information or locking away financial documents. The impact leaves the other partner with no visibility into the couple’s overall financial health, creating vulnerability;

• Allowance or restriction: Another sign is when one partner dictates how every cent earned is spent or makes you ask for funds for basic necessities, even if you contribute financially. This removes your personal agency, leaving you treated as a dependant, not an equal;

• Hidden debt: This is when you discover that significant, unauthorised debt (loans, credit cards or bonds) was taken out in your name or the partnership’s name without your knowledge. The problem is that you can be legally liable for this debt, which can destroy your credit score and future security;

• Career sabotage: A major red flag is a partner who discourages you from working, forces you to resign or makes it impossible for you to obtain further education. This ensures you don’t have an independent income and traps you financially;

• Controlling the savings: Watch out for a partner who forbids you from having a separate, personal bank account or drains any savings account you manage to establish. The effect of this is that it removes your safety net, preventing you from accessing funds in emergencies;

• Forged signatures and fraud: Documents signed in your name without your consent, or that you are forced to co-sign under duress, are also signs of financial abuse. This is illegal and binds you to financial obligations you did not agree to;

• Isolating you from support: Watch for a partner who discourages you from talking to friends, family or professional advisers about your finances. This prevents you from getting the advice, perspective, and support needed to recognise and escape the abuse.

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If you recognise these patterns, know that you are not alone, and this behaviour is never your fault.
The silver lining is that there is a way to escape this abuse. The first step is to acknowledge the reality of your situation.
The next step is to create a plan for financial independence. This must be done with extreme care and discretion. You can speak to a professional financial adviser, who can guide you on how to break the chains of financial abuse and regain control of your economic well-being.
If you, or someone you know, is experiencing abuse, contact Powa (People Opposing Women Abuse) on 011 591 6803 for help.
This NGO offers free counselling, legal services, shelter and support to victims of GBV, including financial abuse.