I have observed people who have experienced some kind of loss in their lives, and I’ve tried to put myself in their shoes, but it seems like an impossible thing for me to do.
Usually when somebody dies, people say: “I know how you feel,” or “I understand,” but do they really?
I believe that if you have not experienced some kind of loss then you have no idea what that person is going through.
You wouldn’t know what it would feel like to lose your child, or brother, unless you have experienced it first hand.
I don’t claim to know either, as I have never experienced such a tremendous loss.
I’ve also been thinking, “does the way someone dies determine how people react to their death?”
For example, if someone dies in a car accident, do people experience loss differently than they would had the person been riddled with cancer for months?
If you see it coming, does it make it easier to bear when the time does come?
I don’t know if this is the case, but I think that it is, to a degree.
The biggest factor that comes into play when one experiences loss is the general shock the loss causes.
And even if you know that someone is going to die, you’re still somewhat shocked by it.
I think loss is worse when someone dies suddenly and more unexpectedly.
And I think it’s especially bad when the person who has died was young and in a good state of health.
When an older person dies, it is sometimes less shocking to their families and friends because they might have seen it coming.
The person could have been in a deteriorating state of health for quite some time before their death.
Does the feeling of loss ever go away, or fade?
I’m not sure it does.
I’ve observed people who have lost their children and their loss never really fades.
For example, my uncle died before I was born and my grandparents have never seemed to have gotten over or moved past his death.
Every year on the anniversary of his death, there is an air of morbidity around my grandparents.
And I feel extremely sorry for them when that time of year comes around.
Not because they need my pity, but because I could never imagine experiencing that amount of pain for such an extended period of time.
We always hear that everyone experiences loss in different ways, and I know that this is true because everyone is different.
When I was younger, I knew a girl who lost her father, the how or why of the situation is not important.
What is important is how she chose to react to the situation.
She took a few days off school and then came back and acted as if nothing happened.
She would laugh at the same things she always did and just go about her day normally.
And this absolutely baffled me, here was this 12-year-old girl whose father had just died and she was taking it in her stride.
This sparked a thought in me that has never left my mind.
It made me wonder how I would react to severe loss.
Would I cry and scream and throw things around?
Probably not, because that’s not the type of person I am, although admittedly, I find the drama and emotion behind those situations to be quite profound.
However people choose to experience their loss, they should be left to do so in peace.
If they want to be left alone, then leave them alone, but be there for them when they need you, because they will eventually.
If they need you by their side, then you make a plan to be there for them.
On the flip side, I don’t believe that people should use their loss as a crutch to stop them from doing certain things or experiencing life.
Your loss should not hinder you, or stop you from doing things.
In fact, it should make you want to do the exact opposite.
I am of the opinion that people should use their loss to make them stronger, and make them want to do new things and experience life.
Life is so short, and losing a loved one should make us realise that.
Don’t waste time.
Do what you want to do when you want to do it, and always follow your heart before it’s too late.
