In the past weeks we have discussed the national outcry of learners attacking their teachers in class, our schools becoming lawless and a battlefield.
We were all trying to debate to find the root cause of the problem, our children being mean and angry and want to act out in the manner that they are especially disrespecting their elders.
After a debate with friends around this topic, we concluded that the problem is bigger and deeper than we all can imagine.
Yes, many argue the children are being disrespectful and need a good hiding but honestly I believe it will take more than that to get these children to behave and become responsible citizens.
Why are we avoiding the root cause of the problem which is the home?
Are we as parents behaving in such a way that our children can model our actions?
Can you honestly stand in front of the mirror and say I am raising my children with the best socially accepted behaviour which you were raised with?
Or do you allow your children to get away with murder because you don’t want to be deemed as the world’s worst mother but chose to be on their good side and even become their friends?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is a bad idea to be friends with your children. I fully understand where those who believe in the notion come from but this should stop you from being a disciplinarian by calling them off when they step out of line.
I recently attended a motivational seminar and the speaker said when he learned he was going to become a father he decided to stop smoking.
He wanted to become a model father to his son that when one day he starts smoking he would be able to call them off without feeling guilty that he might have learned this from him.
To me, this tells me that he is taking responsibility for his actions and trying to become a role model for his children.
How many of us can say we will not do this and that in front of the children because we don’t want them to adopt such behaviour?
Do we mind what we say in front of the children, or expect them to behave because they are young?
I strongly believe for us to say the learners are ill-disciplined and need a good hiding, we are trying to avoid to deal with the root cause which is facing us in the face.
Yes, I feel these learners are displaying what is happening behind closed doors at home, and until as parents we take responsibility for our actions, then we are not going anywhere.
We are sitting on a landmine which will explode in our faces and we won’t have man power to defuse it.
My understanding of the term responsibility is taking accountability or blame for your actions.
I am not saying we must be angels in their eyes but let us try to act in such a way that we wouldn’t be embarrassed if our behaviour is reflected by our children.
