Speaking to Tammlynne Thompson of The Cape Towner, Garron Gsell, founder of Movember South Africa says of the 220 daily suicide attempts in South Africa, 10 per cent are successful, and of those, four out of five are men.
Movember South Africa, a campaign run through November by Men’s Foundations, focuses on issues including prostate cancer and mental health among men.
In the journal article, “The Riddle of Human Emotional Crying”, Vingerhoets and Bylsma argue that crying is a behavior that obeys the rules of our socialisation.
In the case of most men, this comes in the form of “Indoda Ayikhali” or “Tigers don’t cry”.
Research shows that there starts to be a difference in the frequency of proneness to crying in males and females at the onset of puberty.
At puberty, socialisation begins to take the fore because it is during this stage when children tend to behave in a way that mimic their idea of who they are from lessons they have learned about being an adult.
An adolescent entering manhood – who has been told men do not cry – is likely to exhibit such behaviour.
According to Sonke Gender Justice, “men with signs of depression were three times as likely to be violent towards women”.
This was established during the ‘Sonke Change Trial” campaign in Diepsloot.
During the campaign, researchers found that there are no public mental health services in town.
This shows the negative impact of socialising men not to show vulnerability and cry.
“Men can go to therapy. Everyone should go to therapy,” says Senzo Ncanana, a former university student who dropped out because of depression.
“There is no weakness in it, or in admitting you are not okay.
“Dealing with your problems is a true measure of strength,” he continues.
Often misunderstood as a therapy that entails sitting and talking endlessly, this form of therapy is an effective way of healing emotional wounds while helping you to move from the toxic behavior used to mask the real issues.
Encouraging men to not cry leads to a violent and often drunken depression.
According to Destiny Magazine, 18 men in South Africa commit suicide as a result of depression. This shows that men’s inability to discuss how they feel is literally killing them.
Gsell says although men have gotten more comfortable with speaking out, talk of mental health is still seen as a weakness and taboo.
“We need to destigmatise depression by getting men to understand that, ‘it’s okay not to be okay,” he says
If you need counselling, call the South African Depression and Anxiety group on 011 234 4837 for free counselling over the phone between 8am and 8pm, seven days a week.
You can also call them on their 24-hour helpline, 0800 12 13 14, for help with substance abuse.
To reach their 24-hour mental health helpline, contact 0800 456 789.
