Domestic violence must stop

SECUNDA – Domestic violence goes far beyond just physical abuse and it is important that a victim knows that there is help available.

Most people are aware that physical abuse constitutes any physical harm or injury to your body, since the violence is direct and the scars are often visible.

This can include beating, punching, biting, scratching, shaking, pushing and choking.

The following however, also forms part of physical abuse, namely sleep deprivation, denying access to medical care and nutrition.

This type of violence is often ongoing and becomes progressively worse.

There are also types of abuse that do not leave scars and marks.

Psychological or emotional abuse includes expressions of excessive jealousy or control.

Mistrust, threats, verbal abuse and destruction of property can be seen as psychological or emotional abuse.

It also includes threatening to use violence against your partner and children, to take away the children, to have your partner deported or threatening to commit suicide should your partner not comply with your demands.

Threatening to have your partner institutionalised also forms part of psychological abuse.

Psychological abuse may also take place non-verbally.

This may include glaring, fist shaking, physical intimidation, hitting doors or walls.

Verbal abuse would be yelling, degrading comments, put downs, blaming and unfounded accusations about your partner’s loyalty or sexual behaviour.

This type of abuse can occur in public or private.

Family, friends and even strangers may witness this type of abuse.

Although it does not leave visible scars, it can be one of the most dangerous forms of abuse, known as a silent killer.

It is difficult to prove this form of abuse in order to prosecute the perpetrator.

Victims may experience feelings of guilt, sadness and depression.

They may further experience a feeling of being emotionally numb, helplessness and feeling responsible for the abuse.

Sexual abuse is another form of domestic violence.

This goes beyond the use of threats, persuasion or force to commit sexual acts with the victim.

Sexual abuse does not only include actual penetration, it also includes damaging the genitals as well as sexual criticism.

Sexual abuse occurs along a continuum that culminates into violent criminal acts.

Forced sex within a marriage is still considered sexual abuse and is a criminal offence.

Economic abuse include to deny the victim access to or knowledge of the family’s finances, denying access to her own money, demands detailed accounting, forbidding your partner to have his or her own bank account, preventing your partner’s input regarding purchases, not paying child support, not allowing your partner to work, depleting your partner’s economic resources or demanding that small amounts must be stretched further than what is possible.

This may also include theft, sale or destruction of personal possessions.

Social abuse includes isolating your partner from his or her family or friends.

This can take the form of locking your partner inside the house, preventing telephone contact or making friends and family feel unwelcome.

Spiritual or cultural abuse is also one of the less known forms of domestic violence.

The victim is denied the right to pursue religious or cultural activities.

The victim’s beliefs are degraded, attacked or ridiculed and the victim is forced to pray or attend religious gatherings according to the partner’s will.

This can further include demands that children must be raised in a different religion or tradition against the partner’s will.

Other forms of abuse are often justified as a cultural tradition or religious belief.

Should you need help, please contact the following:

· Famsa at 017 631 1593

· Lifeline at 086 132 2322

· People Opposing Women Abuse at 083 765 1235

· Legal Aid Board at 086 105 3425

· Rape Crisis at 011 642 4345

· SAPS at 10111

· Childline at 0800003081