Gift Etiquette

Gift Etiquette
My friend always gives me lavish gifts. Do I have to reciprocate?
It might not be possible to match any gift your receive according to the Rand value of the item. The cliché of gift giving ultimately being about the spirit or thought behind the present applies since the amount of thinking put into selecting a gift can make it more valuable than an expensive or lavish gift which is just bought as a matter of course. Be truly and genuinely appreciative of your friend’s gift, and reciprocate as best as you can in spirit, if not in monetary value.
Secret Santa gifts
While we work hard alongside our colleagues all year round, many of us feel completely at a loss when gift giving time comes around and we are put under pressure to find a gift for the secret gift-exchange most often used for at work gift giving, the Secret Santa quest!
With instructions to spend no more than a seemingly random amount, finding a gift that will be appreciated by anyone is tricky which might be what makes this exercise work so well. You are required to either pick out something perfect for a person who you have been assigned due to a random name draw, or you need to find a gift that could equally be appreciated by any one of your colleagues for the version where the gifts are distributed blindly. Both of these are not easy if you want your gift to be appreciated and enjoyed, especially if you bear in mind that some Secret Santa gift giving rituals even obscure who the giver is of each gift, forcing you to not even consider how the gift you give will reflect on you personally.
Friends and relatives I know are struggling financially send me a gift each year. Should I ask them to stop?
If you are going to follow the edict of receiving gifts in the same spirit in which they are given you need to understand that even though it is difficult for some people to afford giving gifts, to deny them the gift of giving would be a greater slight than accepting a gift you know they can ill afford. Receive the gift and be appreciative.
If there is a real hardship that you are aware of ,discuss it ahead of time in an open, candid and honest way.
If you are unable to do so, consider making a general decision to minimalize on gift giving, perhaps using your desire for cutting back on extra gifts as your motive. Say something like, “we’re really trying to keep it minimal this year. I so appreciate everything you’ve done in the past, but this year a card will be just fine.”
My friends and I have always given gifts to each other’s kids, but now that they’re older, I’d like to stop. How do I broach this?
The one thing that is certain in life is change. While it is natural for traditions to evolve over time the decisions should be taken together with everyone aware of the changes to avoid embarrassing situations. While you might feel afraid they will feel slighted by your move to change the tradition, they might have been wondering how to broach the very same topic with you. Consider honestly laying out your options during any discussion to allow everyone to feel part of the process of what new tradition will be adopted. A good approach is to say something like, “It’s getting to be too much for all of us to get gifts for each other. Why don’t we draw names this year or just have a get-together instead?”
A lot of my friends have had babies recently. Do I have to get them all gifts?
The simple answer is no. While no one would get upset with you for buying a baby a gift it isn’t necessary and little babies under the age of two are often not even aware of what the gifts even represent.
If you are single or without children but your friends are starting that phase in their life where they are having children, it doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to get their kids presents, however for older children that you do see from time to time it might be worth considering. Kids don’t need something big though, just knowing they have been remembered is like a double gift to both the child and their parent.
A friend made a donation gift on my behalf to a charity that doesn’t support my values. What do I say?
First, thank your friend for the gift and perhaps mention the name of a charity you normally support as a suggestion for the future. Maybe after the holiday season broach the subject privately and separately to the conversation about the gift gently and mention that while you are so pleased they are choosing to help people rather than just buy gifts you would prefer if donations in your name rather go to the organisation you support.You don’t have to turn the talk into a big political discussion, or even point out how the charity they chose doesn’t fit your values, rather focus on the positive, giving the information about how to go about donating to the one you would prefer they used for any gifts to you in the future.