One Friday recently, I introduced my latest book on Facebook. The book is about men abuse (the focus is on intimate-partner abuse in heterosexual relationships), which receives less attention from relevant stakeholders, including the media. On my Facebook timeline, I wrote a short note saying men are abused too. Who speaks for them?”
The above statement didn’t go down well with certain women on Facebook.(Maybe the timing of the book was not perfect, given that it is the Women’s Month?)
They felt that I was deliberately countering the campaign against female abuse; understandably so.
Let me hasten to say that, by introducing the book during Women?s Month, I am not in any way countering or trivialising the campaign against female abuse. My last book was about women abuse. Therefore, I know the pain that victims go through, given the research I have conducted on the subject matter . So, I wouldn’t do that.
That said, men abuse is real. And, it is killing the men folk silently.(We shouldn’t shy away from raising this matter in public. Otherwise, we will also be contributing to male abuse.) Yet it is not receiving the attention it deserves. Even writers and researchers show little interest on the subject. That’s unfortunate.
The sad part about male abuse is that there is a stigma attached to it.
When people hear that a man is living in an abusive relationship, or is abused by his female intimate partner, the victim is labelled. This tends to downplay the effect of this evil on the victim.I have also come to realise that when the government talks about gender-based violence (GBV), it is actually referring to women abuse, which is wrong. GBV also includes male victims, who are totally ignored and disregarded by our democratic government.
Interestingly, there are some male political leaders who are also victims of intimate-partner abuse. But they are quiet about it because they don’t want to be seen as less of men. They are also afraid that it will be used against them by their enemies. So, they are dying inside. Sad.
Victims of male abuse shouldn?t suffer for the sins of other men who abuse females. They should also not be treated as strangers in their own country, as is the case now. They deserve to be supported, especially by their families and government. Surely, that is not asking for too much?
