Tshepiso Makhele
3 minute read
8 Jun 2016
3:46 pm

Ways to spice up your marriage

Tshepiso Makhele

If the house makes intimacy feel like a chore, book a hotel room for a few hours.


Marriage is supposed to be a happy union, but we are human and sometimes we don’t agree on matters. Then “the honeymoon” seems to end faster than the actual honeymoon itself. But there are methods that couples can make use of to put just enough spice back into a marriage.

  1. Do something surprising

It’s a lie that some people hate surprises. It’s always good to get a pleasant, unexpected something from the love of your life. So do a little something to surprise your beloved. Give them a full body massage, with candles and all, after the little ones have gone to sleep. Or wear a bit of sexy lingerie to surprise him after work. This can relieve some tension after a long day at the office. Being a little adventurous with your partner is not forbidden.

  1. Talking is key

Irrespective of how long you’ve been together, he or she cannot read your mind. He may not realise that he always leaves the toilet seat up, and that drinking milk from the bottle or carton is bad manners. But, instead of bottling up your anger just ask him to use the glass next time. Believe it or not, he will appreciate your assertiveness and the fact that he now knows why you were so upset earlier. Communication always does the trick.

  1. Little things matter

Those small sweet notes left on the mirror, or a compliment every now and then go a long way in showing your partner how much they mean to you.  Don’t be shy to flirt a little. Steal a kiss while he is watching TV, or blow a kiss to her whenever you can. Such little actions can put the spark back into a marriage and remind the two of you just how much fun you can still have, despite the kids.

  1. Make time

Just like your job, your marriage should be a priority. It deserves to be part of your important schedule. Time with your spouse is important, so schedule one weekend for a date or an outing, and leave the kids with the grandparents or a reliable friend. They will be okay. This will allow the two of you to be intimate and make each other feel loved and wanted. Then you can connect more, reminisce about the good times and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. You can even use this time to look at old pictures of the two of you before the kids were there.

  1. Make sex fun

After a full five days of work, driving the kids to school, changing nappies, taking out the garbage bin and cooking, weekends should be fun time. And what better way than to try out different venues in which to be together, places where you can reconnect with your spouse. If the house makes intimacy feel like a chore, ask the nanny to look after the kids for a few hours during the day and book out a hotel room. This will make the experience different.

  1. Stay positive

Nobody is perfect, and what often puts a stain on a marriage is failure to look through rose-coloured glasses. Yes, there are things you wish the other one could do better, or more of. But, at the end of the day, appreciating each other, being open about your feelings and kind with your words will leave both of you happier. And it will strengthen the marriage.