It is very real, say some, while others believe it is a complete mystery.
Sex’s greatest fairy tale, the G-spot, may not be a myth at all. It is just that, according to Ian Jansen van Rensburg, a polymath sexuality practitioner, it is not always “switched on”.
Its discovery by German gynaecologist Dr Ernst Gräfenberg in 1950, where he described it as an erogenous zone on the “upper inner wall of the vagina”, has been the source of decades of debate. Is it or is not it there? That has been the question.
“The best way to map out the G-spot’s likely location is to start with Google,” says Jansen van Rensburg. “There are thousands of illustrations that will at least give you a map-like sense of where to look.”
Yet he says it is difficult to pinpoint the exact location as individual women may vary in exactly where it is. “Feeling and sensitivity plays a major role and body types differ. It’s not always in the same place and, importantly, the G-spot does not always respond in the same manner for everyone.”
According to a description offered by Medical News Today, the G-spot is about 2-3 centimetres inside the vagina and can be identified by its slight rise, or bump-like texture.
“It’s very different to clitoral stimulation wherein the G-spot really needs the whole body to cooperate and is more dependent on the whole person’s state of being,” Womenshealthmag.com quotes sexologist Yvonne Fulbright.
Insert your fingers into your vagina, use a firm, circular or up and down motion, or “come here” gesture. If it starts feeling good, increase the rhythm and pressure slightly, create more friction. Look for the bump. If your fingers do not work, try a non-vibrating sex toy for reach. The site echoes Jansen van Rensburg’s caveat, noting that you must be turned on for the G-spot to activate.
Jansen van Rensburg, who has consulted countless women, says that an aspect of his therapy, an amorous massage, sometimes helps to locate the G-spot. But he believes there is a deep spiritual connection to the G-spot. “Specifically, when it comes to female ejaculation, it is much more than pleasure, because it’s the whole Yoni (Sanskrit for the reproductive system) and very spiritual.
“There is a big way to connect to a higher plane in that. If you move away a little bit from simply viewing sex and the G-spot in a recreational frame into more of a restorative aspect or like a transformational one, we actually delve deeper into spirituality.”
“But I would say the spirituality lies again in the whole person and we must pursue a level of understanding of how sacred it actually is. It’s not just a toy,” says Jansen van Rensburg.
Yet there are still conflicting opinions about whether it exists or not. A clinical study in 2012 published in the International Urogynaecology Journal pulls the rug out from under the fantasy, literally saying that the existence of the G-spot is codswallop.
Yet a study two years before of just more than 1,800 twins reported that 56% of participants in the study reported the existence and experience of a G-spot.
The Journal of Sexual Medicine, in a discussion paper reflecting the conflicting reports and opinions on its existence, calls the G-spot the Gynaecological UFO. It states: “No controversy can be more controversial than that regarding the existence of the G‐spot.”
Of course, a clitoral and vaginal orgasm, simultaneously, has been mooted as the ultimate in pleasure or, as Jansen van Rensburg would say, also a heightened state of being. “I think it’s a very deep experience to explore and understand and actually feel the differences between all kinds of orgasms or actually both together. But you must be, like what I call in specialised kinesiology, in balance as a person.”
This balance, he says, comes from “being in a good mental, physical and emotional space with a positive willingness to participate. And the environment and then the intention behind it. It’s just for recreation or is it really to connect with yourself and your partner?”
Whether or not you ever find the G-spot, Jansen van Rensburg says that there is more to an orgasm than recreation, anyway. “It’s also about how to generate and use that energy in your daily life to actually manifest ideals. Do not just hunt for a short pleasure and let it go. Use it.”