Did you know singing badly in public could be an offence or that you could have a pet crocodile? There are some weird laws in South Africa.
In Cape Town you can get into trouble if your beachwear offends, while teenagers used to run the risk of jail time as the opportunistic cost of a cuddle. This, while goats have more rights than fancy cars and South Africans still need to fork out for TV licences, even when you’d rather watch Netflix on your phone.
These are some of the bizarre laws and by-laws in South Africa. Imagine if some of them were actually enforced.
Public nudity is illegal, except in designated zones
The city of Cape Town’s streets and public places by-law makes it illegal to appear naked or even partially clothed in a way that may cause offence unless you are in a designated nudist area, such as Sandy Bay. Cape Town is not the only city to do so; there are many local laws that prohibit public nudity.
So even if you don’t plan to tan topless on Clifton’s beaches this summer, you’d best watch out if your bikini or swimming trunks cause offence.
Kissing could see you end up in jail
The Criminal Law Sexual Offences and Related Matters Amendment Act once made it possible for minors under the age of 16 to be prosecuted for consensual contact, even for kissing or touching.
While parts of the law have been repealed, it was reported in 2023 that there are still cases on record.
Animals have right of way on roads
Under the National Road Traffic Act and various other municipal by-laws, people who herd their livestock have a legal right of way on our roads. This means that cows, goats, sheep and donkeys have more rights than your expensive German car or popcorn-exhausted suspension-lowered Opel Corsa.
I’m not quite sure how a cow would report reckless driving or how a herd of goats would complain about bad driving.
Don’t sing badly in public and don’t colour your poodle pink
Noise nuisance laws can include restrictions on loud and unusual public sounds. This could mean that wearing earphones and singing out loud, wooden mic-style on the bus can get you arrested.
Also, if you try to be like Paris Hilton and put your pooch in a handbag, but you coloured it pink, could get you in trouble. The Animals Protection Act of 1962 prohibits dyeing animals such as ducklings or puppies for decorative purposes.
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You can legally own a pet crocodile
In certain provinces, environmental regulations allow people to own dangerous or exotic animals. This means you can keep a set of bone-crushing jaws in your backyard with animals such as crocodiles and large snakes if they have a permit.
Witchcraft is legal but accusations are not
The Witchcraft Suppression Act of 1957 did not ban the practice of witchcraft, but hell hath no fury like a broom-flyer’s scorn. It is a criminal offence to accuse someone of being a witch or, for that matter, to claim you can use magic to cause harm. This Act is still in effect, so don’t threaten your boss with muti.
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*Laws were researched and humour was added for entertainment purposes
