DJ Sabby is committed to being a present and involved father

It was in May 2017 when DJ Sabby, born Sabelo Mtshali, witnessed the birth of a human being who would become his entire life.

Orifha Nkosi Mtshali is the four-year-old that DJ Sabby always knew he wanted. From an early age, he knew he wanted to be a young dad.

“I and my girl were having a lot of conversations about having a baby for a while,” Sabby says. At 26, he was ready to be a dad, wanting to be young enough to be able to relate to him as he grows. Big parenting age gaps don’t allow for much of that.

A YFM DJ at the time, Sabby knew he was mentally and financially ready to be a father. “When I answered yes to most of the big readiness questions, I went to my partner and we made it happen.”

Some of the big questions, for him, included:

• Do I have the mental capacity to father a human?
• Will I have the time to spend with my family?
• Am I willing to sacrifice late and fun nights and choose to stay home instead?

Since then, his “yes” has translated into him becoming a present and involved father.

During the pregnancy, DJ Sabby used a pregnancy update app where his partner can send the developments of his son in utero. He believes accessing pregnancy and childbirth information is what makes or breaks a couple expecting a child.

“It’s tough for gents because the information is not easily accessible for guys,” and this encouraged DJ Sabby to be intentional about accessing it. “Many guys leave their partners after childbirth because of things like postpartum depression (PPD).

“Depression is a real thing,” Sabby says. Being able to access information during and after pregnancy has allowed him to navigate what would simply seem like mood swings in his partner.

His advice to new dads is to come together as young fathers and share information because even in parenting, knowledge is power.

Fatherhood role models

At the age of 10, DJ Sabby lost his father and had to look to other public figures to model fatherhood. DJ Sbu and Dwayne Johnson have been his source of fatherhood inspiration. The intentional decisions they are making about the kind of partners and fathers they want to be for their families have been awe-inspiring.

“DJ Sbu’s spirit, hustle and belief in God have been influential, especially because when I met him he was the person I thought he was.”

Fatherhood is about time and sacrifice for him Spending time with his child has been his greatest fatherhood gift. When his partner was seven-months pregnant, he stopped taking gigs and stayed at home in anticipation of Nkosi’s birth. He sacrificed income for presence and there were no regrets.

He never wanted to feel disconnected from the journey. He could not carry or birth Nkosi, but he can be there every step of the way. Nkosi is currently mommy’s boy and Sabby is waiting for a time when he is the favourite. He says “his moment is coming”.

One thing that will make DJ Sabby feel fulfilled is to be his son’s role model. “I want him to have pride in who his father is and his upbringing,” he says.

He believes he is the best role model for him because he exists in the same environment as him. His son knows that who he is in the media space is who he is at home.

Fatherhood influenced who he is

“Fatherhood has morphed me into a completely different person,” DJ Sabby says. He no longer leaves the house for free, so unpaid gigs do not outweigh the time he could spend with his music-loving almost four-year-old boy.

The Young King is turning four next month and has put aside R16 for his Paw Patrol-themed party where his best friend Mukhundi is his guest of honour.

After a good run at YFM and leaving on a high note after 10 years, he has moved on to “a totally different beast”. Metro FM has been a different space for him, but he is looking forward to doing great things there, creating content that can engage his listeners. His goal, like that of his tenure at YFM, is to “change the narrative and become the greatest of all time.”

Over and above radio, the country should look forward to new music from the DJ that will even transcend outside of South Africa into places like Ghana and Tanzania. TV is also on the books for this cool dad.