Festive season can deepen feelings of loss and isolation.
The holiday season is often wrapped in images of family gatherings, shared meals and warm traditions.
Yet behind the festive cheer lies a quieter truth: for many single residents in retirement villages, this time of year can deepen feelings of isolation and loss.
As families travel, routines change and familiar companions are absent, the weeks meant for celebration can instead become a stark reminder of who is no longer there.
These emotions are common, often unspoken and deserving of far greater attention, say members of NPO Rand Aid Association’s therapeutic team.
Social worker Karen Griessel of Thornhill Manor says while the festive season is widely associated with togetherness, many older adults experience the opposite.
“For those without nearby family, the absence of loved ones can feel especially difficult,” she says.
Loneliness does not always present as overt sadness. It can show up through anxiety, irritability or subtle changes in behaviour – skipping activities, withdrawing from conversation and losing interest in routines.
Physical signs, such as shifts in sleep patterns, appetite or personal grooming, may also signal emotional distress.
Loneliness among older adults is not uncommon. A national study this year of people aged 60 and over, using data from the National Income Dynamics Study, found that more than a third (37%) felt lonely at least some of the time during the week, with 4% saying they felt “always lonely”.
The figures shows how widespread this silent struggle can be.
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Small gestures and community connections can make a big difference
Griessel says small, thoughtful gestures can make an enormous difference. One-on-one check-ins, help with video calls or simply sharing a cup of tea can reassure residents that they are seen and valued.
“Even simple acts like a shared story or a festive treat can brighten a day,” she adds.
At Elphin Lodge retirement village and the Ron Smith Care Centre, social worker Nadine Radford says loneliness and social isolation are increasingly common among single residents in independent living environments – particularly those without nearby family or long-standing friends.
While independence is empowering, she says “it can also lead to emotional distance when daily interactions depend largely on individual effort.”
Weekends and holidays can be the most difficult. Adult children often live far away or abroad, making visits infrequent and leaving residents longing for the warmth of connection or the joy of shared traditions.
The festive season, with its emphasis on family, tends to sharpen these feelings.
Radford urges residents to keep t h e i r t r a d i t i o n s alive, such as preparing a favourite dish, decorating modestly, or inviting a neighbour to reminisce.
Community-building activities such as shared meals, decorating days, sing-alongs, movie evenings or holiday buddy systems help create a sense of belonging, she says.
“A friendly check-in or a warm conversation can remind someone that they are never truly alone,” she says.
For Lynn Barrow, deputy manager of Tarentaal retirement village and a qualified social worker, the loneliness felt by many single residents is tied to bereavement.
“They have spent more than half their lives with their ‘other half’, and when that person dies, the resident is left not knowing how to pass the time.”
This can lead to a sense of not fitting in, particularly among couples-based social circles. Some withdraw rather than join activities where they feel they no longer belong.
This lack of connectedness, Barrow says, can affect physical and cognitive well-being.
Across Rand Aid’s villages, the message from the therapeutic team is: compassion, awareness and inclusion matter.
A neighbourly invitation, a shared activity or a conversation can be powerful antidotes to loneliness.
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