Imagine sitting dead still, not moving any part of your body except for your head.
Sit straight up, hands in your lap, feet slightly apart on the floor. No, don’t begin meditating. You need to be fully conscious – look, listen, smell, taste, feel. Be aware of everything going on around you, but do not move. Ignore that itch. No, it’s not going to go away. It’s going to get worse, but don’t scratch. Don’t touch anything. Be still. Stay.
How long will you stick it out? A minute? An hour? A day?
What if you have no choice?
What if you wake up one day and you are completely immobile, but not unaware? You have 20/20 vision. Your hearing is perfectly in tune. Your mind is alert, quick and active. You can speak, but only to yourself. You can feel – not actively, but only emotion and pain. You also have limited sensation. You have needs – hunger, thirst, warmth, comfort – but you cannot help yourself.
Visualize being left in this motionless state – trapped in your paralysed body – with nothing to do, except for staring into space.
No company. No radio. No TV. No books. No telephone. No computer. No smart phone. Nothing – just you – alone.
Perhaps it’s a bit like solitary confinement – but worse.
I don’t need to imagine. For a time, I was living it.
But I thank God that changed. Machines gave me back my life. And for that, I am grateful.
For a brief period after my accident they even pumped oxygen into my lungs and breathed for me. Had it not been for modern, sophisticated equipment like ventilators, my life would have been cut drastically short. Although I am no longer dependent on machines for my existence, I rely on them heavily in order to live a full, meaningful life.
We are privileged to be living in very exciting times with many technological changes and rapid advancements which can only be to my benefit. I have so many wonderful opportunities of learning and becoming more confident.
Today technology grants me the privilege participating in life itself. Once again I can read, write, learn, engage, communicate, get around, work, be a mother to my son, grow personal and intimate relationships, share, contribute, connect and experience truly living.
I’ve learned that as long as I can continue to read with understanding, see with vision, hear, listen, speak and experience life with appreciation, I have the most incredible potential to make a positive difference to this world, using the amazing technology available.
Although technology is a remarkable enabling factor in a life like mine, we all know how frustrating it can be when things go wrong.
The challenge for me, personally, is not to be intimidated by it all, and then simply giving up.
So, how do I do it, you are probably wondering?
In the next few blog posts, I will try to explain how I do things like get around, write this blog and interact with technology. If you are interested, I hope you will read on and engage with me.
