How estrangement works in friends: Why you don’t talk anymore
Friendships, like any relationship, can change over time—and sometimes, without even realising it, you drift apart.
One day you and your friend are inseparable, and the next, you’re barely in touch. But what causes this estrangement? Is it a gradual shift in priorities, a conflict left unresolved, or simply life pulling you in different directions?
Understanding why you no longer talk to someone who was once so close can be both painful and eye-opening. Let’s explore how friendship estrangement happens, the subtle signs to watch for, and why it’s often more complex than just growing apart.
According to Psychology Today, one of the reasons that friendships fade away slowly is that harmful patterns can become intolerable over time. For example, a friend might constantly call or make jokes at your expense, which was tolerable in the past but less so now. It is stated that a friend might expect you to listen to her life but never ask how you’re doing.
The publication further mentions that friendships can become difficult when paths diverge, leading to drifting apart. ”One friend marries and has small children, the other is single and is career-oriented; job transfers, a romantic partner your best friend finds unworthy of you, or simple inattention due to the busyness of lives unfolding can cause friends to drift apart. The daily calls or texts may, in time, dwindle into brief Christmas card notes… or gradual silence.”
It’s important to acknowledge that- things evolve and change, and not every friendship is supposed to go through until the end of time, states the online publication, Girl Boss. It is suggested that you be mindful of the other person’s actions and consider why you wanted to hang out with them in the first place. If you realise it’s time to say goodbye, don’t blow up bridges, instead, remember the fondness and good times and reflect upon what has been lost. “If we don’t grieve then the next thing you know, you’re doing something destructive like sending angry, drunk texts. If you grieve properly then it can be a nice, clean break rather than a messy thing.”
Also see: Tips to rekindle a broken friendship
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