Think about the conversations you’ve had with your father. Chances are, they aren’t about the gift you gave him for his 58th birthday, but about shared moments, laughter and meaningful time together.

That’s the lens Jason Bernic, executive life coach and director of Success Coaching, invites us to use when thinking about fatherhood.

Make every minute count

Bernic says quality time beats quantity time, every time. “Our memories of time with our dads aren’t measured in minutes. We remember how we felt when we laughed, played, or got help and support. Those are the moments that stick.”

He says a mindset shift is needed from simply spending time to being present. “Whether it’s an hour or five minutes, put the phone away, lock eyes, and be fully engaged. That gives your children the security of knowing they’re being honoured by the man they call ‘dad’.”

3 ways to forge stronger connections

• Consistency: Spend regular time with your children
• Spontaneity: Yes, even if it’s planned – new activities create new memories
• Activity: Doing things together builds a deeper connection than just being around

To be more present, Bernic encourages dads to:

• Disconnect from screens and devices
• Avoid multitasking
• Ask kids what they’d like to do
• Let go and have fun – embrace your inner child

Why it matters

“Children who grow up with emotionally available dads are more assertive and confident. They communicate better, are more empathetic, and tend to succeed in life and leadership,” says Bernic.

A note for both dads and sons

Bernic encourages families to be intentional. “Enjoy the time you have together – kids grow up quickly, and so do we. Honour your father for who he is and the person he’s helped you become. And if you’re ever stuck on what to do, just get together. You don’t need a reason – but food helps!”

Gift time

While people often feel pressure to find the perfect gift for birthdays or Father’s Day, Bernic reminds us that what really matters isn’t what’s wrapped in a box – it’s the memories we create and the time we spend with the ones we love.

“Men are particularly difficult to buy gifts for, especially later in life, when they already have what they want,” he says. “But something money can’t buy is a feeling. Think about that when considering how to show your appreciation.”

Experiential gift ideas

Bernic suggests skipping the shopping centre and planning a memory instead:

• Do something with him that he enjoys, even if you don’t
• Catch a theatre show or movie together
• Go to a stand-up comedy show
• Introduce him to someone he admires
• Visit a place he’s never heard of
• Cook him the best meal he’s ever had
• Reunite him with a long-lost friend
• Sign up together for a barista course, wine tasting or whiskey experience

Thoughtful material gift ideas

If you still want to give a tangible gift, Bernic suggests making it meaningful:

• A personalised item, like a wallet or keyring
• A magazine subscription he’ll actually read
• Fix, improve or replace something in his home
• A garden centre voucher and a trip to pick out plants together
• Something sentimental – framed or presented creatively so it can be treasured

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