Have you ever opened a gift and inwardly groaned, knowing that you have no space in your house for yet another ornament or that you already have more coffee mugs than you can store?

“A current trend is to give our loved ones experiences as gifts, rather than buying something they might not even like or want,” says Dr Marlet Tromp, a life, executive and business coach.

“Experiences build memories and evoke emotions that will last much longer than a material gift.”

She says that shared experiences can strengthen the bond between you and the recipient because the gift of your time and the thought needed to find the perfect experience show how much you value your relationship. 

The giver can also show their appreciation of the recipient in the manner they present the shared experience. For instance, if the recipient loves surprises, tell him/her to be ready at a certain time and dressed in a certain way, and pick them up for a mystery treat. If they love anticipation, tell them in advance what you will be doing and let them help you pick the date.

“Your timing should be impeccably planned so that the receiver can get the full value of the experience,” says Tromp.

When you give a loved one or a friend an experience, it is crucial to show your intent, which is to express your love and appreciation.

“The experience should match the receiver’s personality and interests to show your sincerity and thoughtfulness. If you join in the experience, you need to give your undivided attention to the person, make sure it is quality time together, and make it all about the other person and not you.”

It is not about the cost of the gift; the focus must be on the shared experience and the lasting outcome. 

Tromps says givers must be sensitive to the fact that if the experience is costly, some recipients may feel guilty if they are unable to reciprocate. 

“To be the giver of the shared experience has value as well. You are giving someone your attention and your time, and that alone is a gift for many. Seeing the joy of the receiver creates joy for the giver,” she says. 

Tromp prepared a list of activities that match a person’s interests and lifestyle for Caxton Local Media:

Single mom/dad: An evening or weekend of babysitting.

Person seeking to change their life: Coaching sessions or lessons to learn a new skill.

Fanatic reader: Yearly subscription to their favourite journal or magazine.

Outdoor person: Day at the beach or botanical garden, with a picnic.

Adrenaline junkie: Skydiving, hiking, etc.

Fitness fanatic: Wall climbing or trampoline jumping.

Fashionable friend: Session with a stylist.

Best friend: Slideshow that captures your friendship, coupled with your friend’s favourite home-cooked meal.

Ease the pressure

“Offering your time and services may be more rewarding than a material gift to some people,” says life and career coach Penny Holburn.

She says lending your expertise to help remove any problems or frustrations the gift recipient is going through, could be the most meaningful gift of all.

Examples could be:  

• Paying bills; filling up their car. 
• Offering to help with handiwork, house cleaning, garden work, or household repairs. 
• Babysitting.
• Giving them a ticket for a concert they always wanted to attend. 
• If you are an expert in finances, law, property, or a medical field, and they truly could do with your services, give them your time and advice for free as a gift.