Talking to loved ones about your death is not a conversation anyone looks forward to. Yet putting it off can leave families facing difficult decisions and conflict at an already emotional time.

As people get older, it is important to make sure family members understand their wishes and know where to find important information, says Irene Snell-Carroll, the Western Cape provincial director of Age-in-Action, a developmental non-profit organisation focused on upholding the rights of older people.

Don’t leave important decisions to your family

One of the most important steps is to review your will and other important documents regularly.

Circumstances change. A partner may have died, or there may have been changes in your finances or family relationships. If you don’t update your documents, family members may make decisions you didn’t intend, or they may not act in your best interests.

Keeping wills and other important documents up to date can save families time, confusion and money and help avoid unnecessary legal complications.

A will is only one part of planning. Older people should also make sure their loved ones understand their health and care wishes, including who should care for them if they become unable to manage their own affairs.

They should also consider their funeral or burial wishes and make sure someone knows where important documents are kept and who the main contact person should be.

Have the conversation before there is a crisis

Snell-Carroll says older people who have not had these conversations yet should set aside time to talk, but approach the subject gently.

“These conversations can trigger a lot of emotions which people are not prepared for,” she says.

Rather than making the discussion feel formal or frightening, create a warm atmosphere and make it part of a normal conversation.

Protect what you have planned

Planning for the future also means protecting personal information and finances.

Older people are often targeted by scammers. Unexpected calls, messages or offers should be treated with caution. Snell-Carroll advises people never to give personal information to someone they do not know. Even if they know the person, they should understand why the information is being requested.

Be particularly wary of offers that seem too good to be true. Scammers may make unbelievable offers because they see older people as easy targets. Double-check information, research offers independently and ask for help if you are unsure. Snell-Carroll also advises people not to respond to unsolicited messages, even when an offer sounds attractive, and to block suspicious numbers where possible.

Practical precautions can make a difference. Keep cellphone numbers private, let family members know about important changes to your personal information and use strong passwords. Avoid leaving personal documents and information where others can access them, and shred documents containing personal information rather than putting them in the rubbish.

Snell-Carroll also advises people to be cautious when someone approaches them unexpectedly in public. If someone approaches you, walk away so you can see them clearly and end the conversation as soon as possible, as they may be trying to distract you.

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