OK, I will admit it, I lie to my children

Now, let me be clear, I am not advocating lying. Obviously lying is wrong! We were taught that as kids, and now we pass that lesson on to our children... But...

Let me start as most lies do; with a bit of justification… You see, I often find myself at a loss for words. Perhaps because much of my immediate environment is chaos (personified by 5 little ones). Whether at home, in the car, or out shopping, sometimes I find myself treading water. The tantrums and moans about who is teasing who, shrieks about taking each others’ toys…

So yes… I tell fibs – sometimes.

This is my distraction method, to momentarily halt the impending breakdowns that threaten to ensue.

Let this post, then, serve as a confession of sorts.

Here are my top 4 lies…

1. The “I have no idea” lie

Guys, have you seen my phone? I can’t find it anywhere, and I have ‘no idea’ where I put it. I have to phone your Pappa… QUICK everybody search! Ready, Steady, and GO! Let’s see who can find it first.

Little do they know that my phone is safe and secure under my butt. Yes, I hide it, all in an attempt to gain some control, and to distract them from whatever activity was about to cause the next domestic disaster.

2. The “I’m Choosing” lie

As most of us know, the remote for the television is a dividing factor in any household. My kids aren’t old enough to use the remote correctly, but they do have ongoing arguments about who gets to watch what program. My simple solution; I just say it’s my day to choose. That wins them all immediately, as they try and guess what I will choose. Of course, I don’t want to be unkind, so I make sure that every time it’s my turn I choose, I alternate between their favorite shows, but hey, they don’t need to know that. This mama knows her tricks!

3. The “I haven’t seen it” lie

Sometimes our children end up with some really cute but annoying toys. You know the ones with batteries, a few of them don’t even need batteries, just a drumstick. After a long day, it’s enough to drive you up the wall.

Well… When that cute little body says, “Mom do you know where my whatchamacallit is?”, that’s when this mama puts on her sweetest (most innocent) face and replies, “No sweetie, I haven’t seen it.”, and send them on their way in search of it. Now, this might seem cruel, but sometimes all the repetitive songs and noise is just too much too bare… Don’t judge me! I’m just trying to survive here.

4. The “What’s that?” lie

I must admit, this is my favorite lie! Can I say that?

It works like a charm, anytime, anywhere! In the store, driving in the car or even out in the garden. My kids fall for it every time, hook, line, and sinker.

Whenever the possibility of a sibling war shows itself (usually for no good reason whatsoever), I quickly put on my best-animated voice and say, “Hey guys, what’s that? I think I saw a lizard, hurry let’s catch it before it disappears”. And off they run…

Let me tell you, we can spend ages looking for that lizard!

I think I should call these my sanity-saving lies… All in good humor! So what do you “fib” about?

Parenty logo 2Jacqui Bester is firstly a wife, and mom to five rambunctious children who drive her nuts and fill her heart with unspeakable joy all in the space of a single day. She writes about her day to day adventures and misadventures in parenting, life and marriage. Jacqui is known for sharing a brutally honest account of her MESSY “mamahood”… the joy, the fun, the laughter and the tears. She enjoys a good mystery-crime novel with a lovely glass of red wine, trying out new foods and restaurants with her hubby on the odd date-night, exploring new places, learning new skills, and generally anything else that calls for a more adventurous approach to life. You can find her over on One Messy Mama.

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