Dear Uncle Cyril, I was concerned about you when I was told this week that you have been tested positive for Covid.
Fortunately, you only display mild symptoms, but you have done the right thing to isolate, even if it means leaving our country in David Mabuza’s hands. His health isn’t 100% either, but I know you need the time to overcome this terrible virus.
You have had a difficult two years and I would love you to get some rest while you’re in isolation. Nobody deserves it more than you do.
I realise this disease is no joke – the lovely Snapdragon, my present wife, is just recovering from a bout of Covid and she has been grumpier than ever.
I know you’re on sick leave, but there is something I need to ask you:
Please WhatsApp David and the aunty with the doek and ask them not to close the provincial borders. Last night, Snapdragon and I looked at our fragile bank accounts and decided to take the children to Cape Town for a week.
My mom lives there and she deserves an old-fashioned new year with her oldest son for a change. If I’m not there, who’s going to cut the chicken?
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Who is going to take her to Stellenbosch to pick strawberries or set up an umbrella for her to sit in the shade on the beach? Who is going to make sure that her favourite wine glass remains full?
John or Helen? I know people say they are doing a great job of running that city but for the life of me, I can’t see my mom enjoying their company over the festive season. They just seem a bit… well… boring.
My children need me to take them to the West Coast to show them how to skin a bokkom. They need me to show them the mountain and explain to them how wine is made.
They need me to tell them the terrible history of District Six and introduce them to the much-ignored influence the Khoi people had on this wonderful country.
We can’t depend on YouTube to teach our children everything. Sometimes kids need iDads, not iPads – it’s quite possible to survive without those, as you have undoubtedly learned since you have lost yours.
Thanks for understanding. Your fellow South African.