Tick the wrong boxes to pass to become an ace politician
'There will be invigilators present. They will be Private Investigators, as the police are not good at observing.'
Cash confiscated from the suspect. Picture: Michael Sun.
Comrades Political WhatsApp Group:
Admin: Coms, we have obtained a copy of the Entrance Exam for the National Executive Committee (NEC) of the African National Congress.
If you accept this leaked paper and do not say anything, then you automatically pass Part One of the ANC NEC Morality Test.
The exception to this is if you forward it to other comrades, but charge them at least R5 000 each. This is a sign of initiative and you will earn bonus points.
Entrance Exam for the National Executive Committee – December 2020
Notes: You will be timed. But there is no rush … in accordance with ANC Standard Operating Procedure.
There will be invigilators present. They will be Private Investigators, as the police are not good at observing.
The invigilators will be looking for cheating. You will be marked on how well you cheat. If you don’t you will be disqualified.
1. The goal of the ANC is to provide a better life for:
a) The NEC cadres?
b) Foreign businessmen now living in Dubai?
c) Local businessmen who make donations to the ANC?
d) Range Rover dealerships?
e) Trade union leaders?
f) All of the above?
2. A business person wishes to meet you to discuss a tender. Do you:
a) Insist on dinner at a five-star hotel?
b) If he or she offers you a Johnnie Walker Black Label whisky, send it back with disdain and demand Blue Label?
c) Demand payment in R200 notes in brown envelopes in a Gucci bag?
d) Demand directorships for your children in the BEE company which will be formed for the tender?
e) All of the above?
3. What is a reasonable amount to inflate a tender (bearing in mind the ancient party tradition that it must get at least half of that to aid in growing the organisation):
a) 10%?
b) 20%?
c) 50%?
d) Whatever you can get away with?
4. Due to a collapse of the criminal justice system, you are arrested and charged. Do you:
a) Deny, deny, deny?
b) Say “Natural justice demands that a person is innocent until proven guilty?”
c) Refuse to step down from your position?
d) Insist this is a “political plot” against you because you support Radical Economic Transformaton?
e) Blame apartheid?
f) Call Piet Rampedi?
g) All of the above?
5. Would you bribe the NEC to accept you?
Brendan Seery
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