‘My life is stuck’: Home Affairs’ three-year ID delay leaves man unable to marry

A petrol station manager from the Eastern Cape has been left unable to marry after Home Affairs allegedly lost his birth certificate and failed to process his surname change application for three years.

The delayed application has effectively put his life on hold.

Loyiso Dayimani applied to change his surname from his mother’s to his father’s surname, Tilolopu, in April 2022.

Despite having a reference number and repeatedly being told his case is being escalated, Home Affairs has allegedly informed him they cannot help because they have lost his birth certificate and can’t confirm his birth record.

Life on hold because of delayed Home Affairs ID application

The bureaucratic failure has had devastating consequences for Dayimani’s personal life.

He cannot marry his partner under his paternal surname, and his children remain unable to change their surnames to match his.

“When I had to get married in November 2023, I couldn’t because the [surname on my] ID had not changed. I can’t make my wife take my maternal surname. She has to take Tilolophu. My kids still use their mother’s surname, everything is stuck,” Dayimani explained.

Dayimani has already paid lobola for his wife, but they cannot legally marry under his paternal surname.

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Cultural obligations

Dayimani’s desire to change his surname stems from deep cultural traditions and family responsibilities.

Having grown up using his mother’s surname, he now needs to adopt his father’s name to fulfil his role as the eldest son in the family.

“As the eldest, I’ve had to change my surname to my father’s name (Tilolopu) so I can perform that side of the family’s traditions and ceremonies

“I grew up in a Xhosa household and community. As a man in the family, I have many responsibilities. For example, when there is a death in the family, I’m the one who has to make preparations for the funeral in the cultural sense, but it’s hard,” he explained.

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Home Affairs administrative nightmare

Dayimani’s ordeal began when he applied for the surname change at the Home Affairs Elliotdale branch in the Eastern Cape in April 2022.

He provided all required documentation, including his mother’s ID copy, his father’s death certificate, and his aunt’s ID copy.

The documents were sent to Pretoria for processing.

However, when he attempted to track his application’s progress, he encountered a system that seemed designed to frustrate rather than assist.

Regular calls to Home Affairs’ hotline yielded the same response: “Call back next week.”

“My life is stuck, and it is being delayed. My children also can’t change their surnames to mine. I have already paid lobola for my wife, but now we have to go sign and have a white wedding, but the whole thing is stuck, nothing is happening.

“We can’t sign under my paternal surname at Home Affairs, so we’re just stuck,” Dayimani said, expressing his frustration.

The situation became even more absurd when Home Affairs claimed they had no record of his birth.

This confused Dayimani, who pointed out that his mother is still alive and could verify his birth details from Tembisa Hospital, where he was born.

He noted that he also has an identity document, so it was impossible for the department to have no record of his birth.

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System failure

He cannot even apply for a smart ID card because his surname change application remains pending.

The green book system, which preceded the current ID system, has also created additional complications.

“I only have the green ID book, they [Home Affairs] took my birth certificate when I applied for the green book in 2003,” Dayimani explained.

Cultural perspectives

Cultural expert Isaac Muthethwa told The Citizen that traditions and customs can vary from one family to another, but both maternal and paternal lineages play important roles.

“Getting married is a form of prosperity in your life. This prosperity is from your mother’s side, and protection usually comes from the father’s side. So in my view, I think he can get married using his maternal surname,” Muthethwa stated.

Documents needed for ID surname change application

Home Affairs states that when getting married, both parties are required to furnish their IDs to the marriage officiator.

While Dayimani has an ID book, he cannot, due to personal and cultural reasons, get married under the Dayimani surname.

According to Home Affairs’ website, “no major may assume another surname unless such change of surname has been approved by the Director-General of Home Affairs and has been published in the Government Gazette”.

This excludes changing surnames due to marriage or reverting to one’s maiden surname.

The Citizen reached out to Home Affairs for comment on Dayimani’s case but has not received a response despite multiple attempts over more than a month.

The department’s silence reflects a pattern of poor communication and accountability that has left Dayimani and potentially thousands of other South Africans in bureaucratic limbo.

The case raises serious questions about Home Affairs’ document management systems and their ability to handle surname changes, particularly those rooted in cultural traditions and family responsibilities.

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