Author shares story of loss with Ballito Book Reader’s Group

When life as you knew it comes to an end, how does one find the strength to keep going?

This was the discussion point when Cape Town author, Dr Beryl Botman, addressed members of the unofficially named Ballito Book Reader’s Group last Thursday at Ekhaya House.

Her book With (-Out) You chronicles her struggle to come to terms with the unexpected death of her academic husband Russel, who passed away in his sleep at the age of 60 in 2014.

He was the first black vice-chancellor of the University of Stellenbosch, well-known for his role in the fight against apartheid and his passion for transformation in education.

Sharing her story with the group, Dr Botman told members that writing was the last thing on her mind during the early days after her husband’s death.

“I can say with conviction that it was the most difficult time of my life,” she said.

The book describes the first traumatic moments once she realised her husband had died, to the first anniversary of his death.

The book is written in a conversational style, reflecting “discussions” she has with her husband.

The central question of this heart-breaking one-way conversation is how she should learn to live without him in her new dimension of existence and recognise the love they had for each other.

While Dr Botman had always wanted to write a book, originally something she planned for retirement, she said she took up the opportunity during therapy.

She only felt ready to write her story five years after her husband’s death, and spent much of that time preparing for the task by completing writing courses.

Newspaper clippings reporting on her husband’s death had been used as source material in the book, too, and Dr Botman is working on a follow-up titled Still, Love Remains.

You can obtain a copy of With (-Out) You at takealot.com, priced at R229. The Afrikaans version is also available at the same price, and is titled Sedert Die Dood Ons Skei.

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