Resolve to forgive yourself – and others

January 2016 is here and 2015 is already becoming a distant memory. How many so-called New Year resolutions have already been broken? Especially the commonest ones – losing weight (by so many kgs), healthy eating habits, no smoking, reducing alcohol consumption, and you know the rest!
These lovely virtuous feelings have now been replaced with slightly shame-faced feelings of guilt. But please forgive yourselves for unrealistic ambitions. It is so endearing for human beings to be so endlessly optimistic about their own capacities and capabilities. Forgiveness is a virtue that is divinely ordained. So start by forgiving yourself first and then extend your forgiveness to others too. No mind can be free when it harbours a grudge against someone else.
Let us “clean our houses” mentally of all useless baggage with which we have been burdening our already overtaxed minds. Cultivate friendships that are positive and optimistic. Do not maintain old friendships that bring hurt and stress into our lives (you know the type!). Forgive them and let them go and make someone else miserable!
Resolve to put no more energy into feuds (especially family) and bitterness. If you realise that you need to apologise, then apologise and free both of you. If they do not respond, it is their problem. You at least will be free mentally!
Look back into 2015 – what succeeded despite everything? What did I really enjoy and wish to repeat? Which good intentions and New Year resolutions crashed and burned? Which friendships flourished and which old contacts fell below the horizon? Now you know what to choose to keep you happy and promptly abandon the rest – be ruthless!
Also forgiveness does not mean that you now become all happy, “chummy” and friendly with the “forgivee” – if there is such a word! Forgiveness breaks that emotional (usually bitter and sour) attachment that intrudes into your daily thoughts. Either you remain on good terms or become totally indifferent – it is your choice. I am sincerely trying to do this myself – very difficult, but possible. Why not join me in 2016 and use “forgiveness” as your new “mantra”.
I hope all of you forgive me for being so presumptuous in making these suggestions to all of you – it is a good start anyway! Leave 2015 baggage back there and start 2016 with no useless baggage. You will feel great relief when this burden is released. This is always possible if one has deep faith and belief in our Divine Creator. Peace to all in 2016!
DR THIRU MOODLEY
Ballito