Two Bits – Julius just got predictable, therefore boring

Julius Malema and the EFF are finally running the risk of becoming predictable and boring.
Imagine them sitting in some smoke-filled shebeen, planning their strategy for Zuma’s 2017 State of the Nation address.
“Hey guys, what we did in 2015 and 2016 worked so well. I’ve got a brilliant idea – let’s do it again!”
And that’s what they did. Yelled and hurled insults at Jacob, with the express plan of being thrown out of the Assembly, with as much force as possible, so they could grandstand outside about their brutal oppression.
If that was their plan, it worked, but did it make an impression on the voters? I imagine the converted would say yes, but most would have thought it was thuggery in another form. The point is, the government and parliamentary officials were expecting a repeat of last year and so were the millions of South Africans who tuned in for the fight, then yawned and went to bed when the President finally got to his feet.
While Julius was ranting and raving (JuJu has got thinner, did you notice? Could be Banting, I suppose . . . ), there sitting behind him on the polished seats of the Assembly I spied a familiar face. It was none other than Phillip Mhlongo, who followers of North Coast local government might recall. He was always in the thick of rabble rousing, but his moment of distinction came when he was thrown out of Lifestyle Superspar for pulling a gun in the middle of the cosmetic aisle over some trifling issue.
I see from the EFF website that he has renamed himself “Fighter” Mhlongo, with glorious references to time spent in Umkhonto We Sizwe, but has omitted any reference to serving as a lowly councillor in KwaDukuza. If I recall correctly, the ANC skopped him out not long after the gun incident.
Julius brandishing a cable tie as proof of what Parliamentary security had in store for them, plus the claim that the cops had hypodermic syringes to inject the EFF (with laxatives, I would suggest), what Julius did achieve was forcing the ANC to descend to their level. The sight of fatcat ANC politicians yelling “Fuck you!” did little for their claims to higher moral ground.
The DA’s Musi Maimane was, on the contrary, dignified and explained why they were leaving the chamber in protest. No histrionics.
What last week’s little spectacle illustrated most clearly for me is that South Africa is crying out for moral leadership. At the moment, probably only the churches are doing that, but their voice needs to be much louder. Cape Town’s Anglican Archbishop Makgoba is raising his voice, but I hear very little from other established religions. It seems so long ago that the turbulent priets were at the forefront of criticism of the government of the day – Archbishop Hurley thundering his disapproval and Tutu lambasting National Party and ANC alike.
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Umhlali Prep turned 99 last week, and is planning some big events for its centenary year in 2018. It’s time to dig out all the old photos and recall the long path from its birth as a small farm school with just 14 pupils, to the modern, look-ahead education establishment of today that caters for more than 1 000.
The centenary organising committee would love to hear from all old pupils and ideas of how to find those who might have drifted far away, to hear their stories and share their photos. Contact details are elsewhere in this issue.

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Two Darnall farmers were taking their first trip to Jo’burg on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling the new Oreo ice-creams which they’d never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly unwrapped his ice-cream and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you”.
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”