Lovers’ spat ends in murder-suicide
Psychologist, Nadine Pillay, advises that victims of an abusive relationship should take note of the red flags that indicate that the abuse may be building up to an act of extreme violence.
A lovers’ spat that began outside a local drinking establishment on Friday night escalated into a murder-suicide.
Witnesses say Phindile Dlodlo (31) and her boyfriend, Nkosinathi (Victor) Buthelezi began arguing outside a popular tavern, when Nkosinathi began assaulting Phindile repeatedly.
Philindile allegedly grabbed Nkosinathi’s knife when it fell out of his pocket, and began stabbing him with it.
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Police confirmed that Nkosinathi had been stabbed on the upper left arm and had sustained what looked like a fatal stab wound to the chest. He died on the scene despite the efforts made by paramedics to save him.
Phindile was arrested and taken to the Vryheid police station, where she hanged herself in a holding cell using her t-shirt while waiting to be charged with murder.
Psychologist, Nadine Pillay, advises that victims of an abusive relationship should take note of the following red flags that indicate that the abuse may be building up to an act of extreme violence:
- Your partner speaks to you in a condescending or threatening manner,
- Your partner tries to control or manipulate you using either verbal or physical intimidation,
- You partner threatens to hurt you, the people you love, or even threatens to damage your possessions,
- You partner has a weapon and threatens to use it when conflict arises.
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“Remember that when you add alcohol to a situation that is already volatile, you can have devastating consequences,” warns Mrs Pillay.
“The first time your partner exhibits violent behaviour or does anything that makes you feel afraid, you need to talk about it. Whether you choose to speak to a professional or a friend, it is important to have a support system in place to help you deal with what is happening. You should also have a plan to deal with violent situations when they arise, and have an escape plan should you need to get away in a hurry. Couples need to learn how to deal with conflict without using violence,” she concluded.
