What do you do when you lose control of your family home to your mother-in-law and your husband is too much of a mommy’s boy to stand up for you?
We have all been there… But know this, life with the mother-in-law is never going to be a bed of roses, but it need not be hell on earth either.
An overbearing mother-in-law is never fun or easy to handle.
You need to talk to your husband and make sure he understands that it is up to him to politely tell her to back off a little. You have a lot of weapons in your arsenal to help persuade your hubby to play ball.
But if that does not work and he is too much of a ‘woes’ to do anything, try talking to her; it doesn’t matter if she becomes upset with you. Just because she feels hurt or angry doesn’t mean you did something wrong.
In-laws who have stable relationships with their offspring will respond appropriately when you communicate your needs and draw reasonable boundaries. However, in-laws who are overly dependent on their sons in an unhealthy and immature way will choose to be offended and try to make you feel guilty for having needs that conflict with theirs.
It is important to stand your ground with controlling in-laws. Boundaries need to be set before it becomes too out of control and a routine matter for her to interfere. Sometimes it is not just the mother-in-law’s fault, as your husband may still be playing the role of a child to his mother.
His immaturity helps nurture her ability to meddle in your family’s affairs.
Grab him by the belt and let him know who is the daddy! And once he understands that, explain to him that it’s time to start acting like the master of his house. Sit down together and make a list of what bothers you about each other’s families and decide which issues are worth standing firm on.
What you feed your baby or how you choose to discipline your child may be priorities you won’t compromise, for instance.
But if your mother-in-law wants to iron your husband’s shirts ‘properly’ or complains about how you mow the lawn (or don’t), perhaps you could let this slide or share it as a personal mother-in-law joke. It’s difficult for her to turn into the mother-in-law from hell when you are secretly laughing inside…
After all, you, your hubby and the kids are a family now, and it’s time to establish your own values and traditions.
And if your hubby still doesn’t get the message, remind him of the one thing you can do for him that his mommy can’t!
