Where do all the good people go when you retire from Dundee

It’s true what they say – Dundee makes you cry twice: the first time when you arrive and again when you have to leave.
Yes, I’ve seen it happen – some transient contractor or mine worker will walk into a pub, get stared down by ‘die manne’ while asking where the hell is there to go in this place, moaning about the quality of his B&B accommodation and crying to go home to his movie theatres and his Virgin Active.

A few months down the line he’s marrying the B&B owner’s daughter, buying farewell rounds for ‘die manne’, crying and singing ‘The Road to Dundee’ as he heads up Karellandman for the last time, with a movie theatre on his mind. Us locals – the born-and-breds – don’t find it easy to leave either. We moan about how everyone knows your business, and the lack of a Woolies Food, and the litter and the state of the municipality and the parties in public parks. But here in Dundee your friends become your family, and it’s that which makes this place so easy to love and so difficult to leave.
I have learnt, mostly from spending time in a range of Dundee’s finest drinking establishments, about the fellowship of this community – the kind of fellowship created by a ‘regular crowd’. Your car needs tyres but you’re broke – some guy can make a plan out the work yard. Someone else gets moered by his girlfriend’s ex – he doesn’t get laughed at (to his face). You need a lift to Durban – one ou phones another ou and you’re sorted.
You get invited for meals at least once a month, and if you’re hurt and in hospital the guys (or their wives or aunties) send ‘refreshments’ and make sure that your own wife is taken care of while you’re away. If you crash your car or your house gets broken into a posse will rush over to see how they can help you out.
So there’s no doubt that the road out of Dundee will be always be longer on the way out than on the way in, and anyone who spends time here always goes away with new friends. Woolies Food and parties in the park seem so minor in comparison, don’t you think…? So go have a dop (The Curry Parlour is recommended), make some friends and share a meal – you never know when you might need some tyres…