Something for the Councillor with everything

The festive season approaches and people start to run around looking for the perfect gift.
But what do you get for the person who has everything? In other words, what do you get for your municipal official?
Municipal officials have everything they could want or need. If they’re lacking anything, they just issue a tender out for it and Bob’s your uncle, they have it. So what do you get them? One thing municipal officials never have enough of is bodyguards. The more prominent the official, the more bodyguards they require.
The best part is that these bodyguards don’t need to be fully trained either. As long as they know which end the bullet comes out of a gun, they’re good to go.
Another gift that would be perfect is common sense. With common sense, officials would see that the CBD needs CCTV cameras to help curb the ongoing crime in the town. With common sense, they would see that you can’t spend R52 000 on Nandos and justify it.
They would also see that you can’t use the work premises for personal business or create job vacancies for family and friends.
Sadly common sense doesn’t grow on trees and you can’t buy it in a bottle at your local chemist. There’s also no Wizard of Oz to hand out brains to all those who need it (that being all of them). The sad reality of it is that there seems no hope for our officials. Even the suspension letter being handed out to those not performing don’t seem to help.
They still get paid while they’re at home and are replaced by an acting official who’s acting for five other people already. It’s actually surprising that the Endumeni Municipality hasn’t won an Oscar as yet for Best Drama with the amount of actors they have.
So this Christmas, don’t think about the poor people who have nothing. Think about the poor municipal officials who have everything but don’t know how to use it.
Think about the councillors who make all the promises but can’t fulfill them.
And think about the President who has to buy a gift for all his wives and children using your money. You know that’s what they think about.