Waterless, powerless and bombless Dundee

Dundee… Dundeeeee, wherefore art thou Dundee? Thou waterless, powerless and bombless town.
Waterless you say? Yess… Glencoe has been running dry for days and no, it’s not because it’s a ghost town but because the region has been hit by drought. Well, so they say in the corridors of power.
Even ‘Los my Cherry Dam’ has been affected and the local regulars are also facing drought.
Not many cherries can be found there anymore. It could be because there is no water; not many men can bath and shave and spray Axe, so as a result, can’t pick up cherries. Because cherries like clean ‘Axed’ men, not waterless whimps in Glencoe.
And then powerless? Hell yeah, yes Eish-kom is at it again not empowering the nation but empty-powering it.
And then finally the bomb… can you believe it Dundee has been hit by two bomb scares in one week? Surprisingly, just like most things in Dundee, it fizzled out quietly after making a lot of noise. The bomb is very much like our municipality, always being loud and explosive in their promises, but then quietly defusing. “We will give you title deeds and clean water” but then after the dam doom ( an ‘Indian’ word meaning lots of noise and commotion), no houses and no free water. In fact the only thing you get free is the slip the four-digit water bill is printed on, but then again we are probably unknowingly paying for the tree it was made from because our councillors don’t like flora. They are more for fauna hence R52 000 was spent on Nandos chicken. Also, just like our municipality, the bomb was a hoax, very much like service delivery around here.
But the municipality is not the only place where you find big bold promises that fizzle out. Certain businesses offer you the moon and the stars but in actual fact you are left with little more than a tent and a stick on star that glows in the dark which can be bought at Pep Stores. But then again Pep Stores stars are better than no stars and a bomb scare is better than no bomb at all.