Praising what is expected
Psychologists and educators often encourage parents to use positive reinforcement as a means of promoting positive behaviour.
There is good reason for this, and with many children and in many situations, praise is more effective than punishment. Raving about great test results is often more effective than raging about poor results.
This is especially true as children become older. However, a recent study has looked at how praising our children for the unremarkable, or what is expected of them, is unhelpful to their development. By making a big deal about average things (by your child’s standards) often takes away from the desire to do more or do better.
If children get praise for doing very little, they are unlikely to push themselves to do more.
The suggestion is therefore to save praise for remarkable moments. Some theorists suggest pointing out that an average performance is average. While others, and especially with younger children, suggest stating that you see what your child has done.
By letting your child know you’ve seen, creates a sense of recognition and belonging. For example, a walking toddler doesn’t need praise every time they walk. They might call for constant attention to this fact, but by responding ‘I see’ creates a sense of recognition, but doesn’t over inflate the average achievement.
We should be careful of reinforcing mediocrity.
