Warning: This column may be considered offensive by some readers!
* “Babe, is it in?” “Yes.” “Does it hurt?” “Uh huh.” “Let me put it in slowly.” “It still hurts.” “Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”
* A man is walking down the street when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
“Grandpa, what are you doing?” the man exclaims. The old man looks off into the distance and does not answer his grandson. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asks again. The old man slyly looks at him and says, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This was your grandma’s idea!”
* A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, “Are all of those kids yours?” He replies, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”
* Grandma and grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, “I don’t think you should take one, dad, they’re very strong and very expensive.” “How much?” asked grandpa. “$10 a pill,” answered the son. “I don’t care,” said grandpa, “I’d still like to try one and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow.”
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called grandpa and said, “I told you each pill was $10, not $110. “I know,” said grandpa. “The hundred is from grandma!”
