Living in South Africa one grows accustomed to long queues and waiting. Be it waiting to be served in the never-ending queues at clothing stores, or waiting in endless lines at banks.
Then there’s waiting at the hospital. Now even if it’s just an x-ray you need, or even a prescription slip, one can be sure to pack a picnic basket because you will wait till thy kingdom come, chances are your illness will leave you before the queues even decide to leave.
But anyway wait one must, so why not find creative ways to pass the time.
These ways can be handy in fighting the queue blues.
So let’s have a looksie, the first way could be a quick game of ‘analysing the aggrieved’ now the name might sound tricky but it is fairly simple.
All you have to do is guess the one who is most likely to blow their top upon reaching the front and then rate their likeliness.
For example, there is always that old Indian ballie with the stern eyes and shiny bald spot who prances up and down and keeps looking at an invisible watch. His likeliness to pop are a whopping five out of five. Then there’s that chirpy blonde lady, the one adorning the biggest smile and the most nauseating perfume. This lovely lady greets and smiles and spends her time chatting, beating the queue blues, even after waiting three hours she simply smiles and says, “OK-mina-hayi-angry-I-need-i-exercise”.
For her patience and feeble attempts at Zulu she would score a one out of five in popping.
Now there’s also the coloured okies who try to worm their way past you to the front, ‘no man that’s my bru it wont take long’ is their excuse. Now being coloured they have best of both worlds and can bargain like an Indian and be assertive like other races. So they glide past you with popping levels at a three.
Now let’s not forget the irate Zulu man, he too prances up and down grumbling.
Now he has no time to wait and makes it known in English but later tells the salesman, who tries to quell his temper, that he doesn’t speak or understand English. Popping level between two and upwards.
Now after you’ve tried that why not try your hand at some good ole conversation. A friendly “hello how you?” is sure to kill time. If you are adventurous why not shout hi-jack loudly, that is sure to stir up some reaction. AND If it turns out not to be the reaction you were looking for, it’s ok freedom of speech is a right in SA. If presidents can incite xenophobia, politicians can ignite racism ‘skiet die boer’ then why can’t a simple South African greet a friend.
Now if you have tried the analyzing game, tried the conversations and even watched the boring ads most businesses have then maybe one should consider internet banking or shopping online.
It might not be as fun nor is it an opportunity to meet and greet an array of people, it does save you a lot of time, bail money, patience and even jail time.