Shops have hiked up their prices on dresses and suits, cars are being ironed, shined and redesigned, hairdressers are up to their noses in bookings and all this and more signals the merry/miserable home coming of the Matric Farewell 2015.
Why merry/miserable you may ask?
Its simple, the pick-and-pay theory applies for this case. Matriculants are merry when the pick designer dresses and snazzy suits and parents are miserable when they are left paying.
Now, now lets not be negative, shall we? Matric Farewells are positive events. It is whereby learners bid farewell to their old schools and say bon voyage and thank you to their teachers. They also get drunk in some cases and not make the actual event or they become a bit too festive during the after-parties and end up with parting gifts (babies).
Others might not be that brazen and settle for a good ol rev of the prom car consequently polluting the environment, depleting oxygen supplies and killing humankind.
While the celebration of the farewell is inexplicable, it has been in existence for eons, though a lot of the finer details have changed or have been tweeked over the years.
Such as the name, back in the 1970’s it was known as ball, in 1980 it evolved into a prom and with the wake of the millennium it changed to a Matric Farewell.
Modes of transport to the farewell and back has also changed. Although many youngsters of today still keep it vintage, majority opt for trendy Subaro’s, Gusheshs and SLK’s. Back in the days, friends would clammer in the back of a friends car, owned by his father, and merrily make their way to the farewell. These days people make entrances with a statement such as being escorted in the back of a police van clad in orange overalls, walking to your farewell or even being escorted in an ambulance.
The main objective of the ride – whatever it may be – is to look smart, make noise, attract screams and rev the engine to pieces or spin the tyre threads away.
Then the outfits have changed. Back in the day puffy was the way to go. One could minus the puffy provided their lady bits were covered and looked presentable. For the gents, suits, or formal was the way to go.
Nowadays girls go for the quadruple ‘B’ effect, which consists of a dress showing boobs, back, bum and bare legs. Now conservative people still do exist so the quadruple ‘B’ effect does not apply to all girls. Some girls enhance one of the four B’s eg, a cleavage-revealing dress, others get dangerous with two eg a short cleavage-revealing dress. And some go all Beyonce with a bum-fitting dress that is short and reveals cleavage.
Now the males are also following this trend but have customised it to suit them. Their look is the triple ‘C’ – crotch, chest and crown (cash). Frowning are you?
Well the look goes something like this: tight-fitting pants (showing the outline of a crotch), some chest showing (either with a fitted shirt or open buttons), and wads of cash in the wallet or suit pocket.
Well they might be dressed to kill both those wanting to look like them and their parents with the costly attires, but a farewell is not complete without a date.
Dates vary on your sexual preference and your level of bravado. For eg a young man rocking up at his farewell with a stripper, who gave quiet a show. Or a young lady dragging her little brother to the farewell as she thinks it will be cute.
Hey bath him, wash the years of dirt off his face, stuff him in a suit and it will be fine? Nooo it is not fine when he runs off screaming for your mother.
Other matriculants have also had daring dates but nothing fatal.
Now after the hoo haa is done and dusted lets enjoy the festivities and accept that farewells are here to stay. Their names might be changed but they will forever be around.
Matric farewells will continue to lurk around July and August and catch unsuspecting parents who have forgotten that their little princesses have grown up and will expect to look like queens for their farewells.